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Writing Samples
Band 4

Level of youth crime is increasing rapidly in the most cities around the world. What are the reasons for this and suggest some solutions.

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the
Capitalize the word
The
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 level of youth crime is
icncreasing
Correct your spelling
increasing
 rapidly in most cities around the world
due to
Linking Words
 the lack of
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
, family issues and bullying .
the
Capitalize the word
The
show examples
 drugs too
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 so popular among youth
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it makes people commit crimes without thinking twice . As a solution for youth crimes ,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 suggest to raise awarness in primary schools ,middle and
highschools
Correct your spelling
high schools
, be extra strict about drugs .

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task response
Answer both parts in full. Explain why each cause leads to crime, then give more than one clear solution.
task response
Add simple, real examples. For example, say how drug use can lead to theft or violence, and how school talks can help young people ask for help.
task response
Develop the ideas about family problems, bullying, and drugs. At the moment, these points are named, but they are not fully explained.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear four-part plan: introduction, reasons, solutions, and a short ending.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each paragraph. Start paragraphs with clear words such as “One reason is...”, “Another cause is...”, and “To solve this problem...”.
coherence and cohesion
Link sentences with simple words such as “because”, “also”, “however”, “therefore”, and “for example” so the ideas flow better.
coherence and cohesion
Write a short ending that repeats your main view and shows that schools, families, and the police should work together.
task response
You gave several relevant reasons for youth crime, including family problems, bullying, and drugs.
task response
You suggested useful actions, such as teaching children in schools and being stricter about drugs.
coherence and cohesion
Your response has a clear basic order: first the reasons, then the solutions.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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