Some people think that entrance to museums should be free for everyone, whereas others believe that visitors should pay an entrance fee. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
Museums
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play a crucial role in preserving cultural heritage and educating
people
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about it. Some
people
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think that
admission
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to
museums
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should be free for everyone,
whereas
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others believe that visitors should pay an
entrance
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fee. In my opinion,
admission
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to
museums
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should be free because
this
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encourage
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
show examples
more
people
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to visit and learn about their heritage.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, some
people
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think that
museums
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should charge an
entrance
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fee because they need money to maintain their buildings and protect exhibits. They can use
this
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money to pay employees’ salaries and improve service for
visitor
Check wording
visitors
show examples
.
For example
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, they can develop exhibitions and buy new technology by using
admission
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fees.
As a result
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, some
people
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think that
entrance
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fees are important for maintaining the quality of
museums
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.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, others think that
admission
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to
museums
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should be free, which allows everyone to visit them. Some families cannot afford to buy tickets, especially those with a low income. If
entrance
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to
museums
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is free, children and students will have a chance to learn more about history and culture.
For instance
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, schools can organize educational visits to
museums
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without worrying about costs.
As a result
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,
this
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helps children understand their history and culture in a fun way.
In addition
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, free
admission
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encourages more tourists and local
people
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to visit
museums
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.
This
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helps to increase society’s awareness of the importance of protecting cultural heritage.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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entrance
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fees help
museums
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cover their costs, I believe that free
admission
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is more beneficial to society.

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task response
You discuss both sides and give your own view clearly. To make your ideas stronger, explain more about how free museums can get money from the state, gifts, or shops.
task response
Your examples fit the topic, but they are quite general. Add one clear real-life example, such as free school trips helping more children visit a museum.
task response
State your view in the last part with one more reason. For example, say that learning about history should not depend on how much money a family has.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: start, one side, the other side, and end. Keep this good plan.
coherence and cohesion
Some links repeat, such as “As a result.” Use other simple links too, like “Also”, “However”, “Because of this”, and “For this reason”.
coherence and cohesion
Make the link between free entry and more visitors clearer. Say that when more people visit, they learn why old art and history should be kept safe.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you show both views and give a clear opinion.
task response
The ideas about low-income families, children, and school visits are on-topic and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Each main paragraph has one clear main idea, so the reader can follow your writing easily.
coherence and cohesion
The start and end are clear and match your main opinion.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
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