IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of travelling to a workplace every day. Do you think the advantages of working from home outweigh the disavantages.

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Introduction
A part of
Correct determiner usage
Some
show examples
 people think that it would be a great idea if employees
work
Use synonyms
 from
their
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
home despite of going to a
workplace
Use synonyms
 daily.
in
Capitalize the word
In
show examples
 my opinion i consider that working from home has
advantages more
Correct word order
more advantages
show examples
 than outbacks for several reasons
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
environment
Replace the word
environmental
 impacts
ant
Correct your spelling
and
 health care.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, governments should encourage citizens to
work
Use synonyms
 from their accommidations results in protect environment ,
however
Linking Words
, an increasing number of cities faced many issues from traffic congestion,to solve these proplemes the suggest to force some sectors to
work
Use synonyms
 from home, when the number of vehciles reduced means less pollution impacts,
in addition
Linking Words
, states obtain to engage individuals to
work
Use synonyms
 from their houses to develop healthcare ,
for example
Linking Words
 , companies which pushed their employees to
work
Use synonyms
 online faced less health proplems than other companies which continue
work
Use synonyms
 from
workplace
Use synonyms
 in Covid-19 period.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Many people think
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
that
Change preposition
of that
show examples
 trend because they consider
Linking Words
due
Correct word choice
that due
show examples
 to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 communication,
furthermore
Linking Words
, working online has
limit
Correct article usage
a limit
show examples
 to get the information quickly
Punctuation problem
, not
show examples
not same as
Correct word choice
unlike
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 when
work
Use synonyms
 face to face .
Conclusion
In conclusion, some people think have a job online has more advantages than
work
Use synonyms
 from
workplace
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
otkers
Correct your spelling
others
 consider
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
that trend , in
Punctuation problem
. In
show examples
 that case i can see myself
in behalf
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 online
it
Punctuation problem
; it
show examples
 is more beneficial than
work
Use synonyms
 from
workplace
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Give a clear answer in the first part and keep the same view in every part. Say that the good points are greater than the bad points, then show why.
task response
Develop each main point more. Explain how less travel can cut air pollution, and explain why home work may help keep people safe from illness.
task response
Write more about the bad points before you judge them. For example, say that less face-to-face talk can make team work slower, but video calls and set meeting times can help.
task response
Use one clear, real example for each main point. The Covid-19 example is useful, but explain what happened and why it supports your view.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: first part with your view, one part for good points, one part for bad points, and a last part with your final view.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body part with a clear main idea. Then add reasons and an example. This will make it easier to follow your writing.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care: “First”, “Also”, “However”, “For example”, and “As a result”. Do not join too many ideas in one long sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Make the last part short and clear. Do not repeat both sides again; state your view and the two main reasons.
task response
You answer the main question and clearly say that you support working from home.
task response
You give useful main ideas about traffic, pollution, and health, and you include an example from the Covid-19 time.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear first part, two body parts, and a last part.
coherence and cohesion
You try to show both sides of the topic, which makes your opinion more balanced.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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