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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The graph shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The line chart provides
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
key
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
information
of
Change preposition
on the
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 who
65
Verb problem
are 65
show examples
years
Use synonyms
 old and over in 100
years
Use synonyms
 from1940 to 2040 in USA , Sweden and Japan. The units are measured in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Proporation
Correct determiner usage
the proportion
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 aged 65
years
Use synonyms
 and over
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 increased
dramtically
Correct your spelling
dramatically
 in the three countries
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 recently . The graph shows
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
Usa reach 15% popilation in 1980
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the percentage stayed
nealy
Correct your spelling
nearly
 stable until about 2020 ,and goes up quickly to reach about 23% in 2040. Sweden people who
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 65
years
Use synonyms
 and over in 1940
just
Verb problem
was just
show examples
 about 7% in 1940 , wheares , the percentage
rise
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 quickly at the beginning of the 20th century and reached 20% after that
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 drop happend until about 2025 . The
population
Use synonyms
 is growing
up
Rephrase
apply
show examples
dramatically to 25% . The
population
Use synonyms
 in Japan stayed about 5 to 10 per cent until about
2030
Punctuation problem
2030,
show examples
 after
that
Correct pronoun usage
which it
show examples
 increased dramatically and reach 25% in
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
years
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Add more linking words.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words population, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • aging population
  • proportion
  • elderly
  • significant increase
  • surpass
  • gradual increase
  • crucial period
  • rapid increase
  • healthcare advancements
  • lower birth rates
  • projections
  • adjustments in social services
  • demographic dynamics
  • lifestyle choices
  • trends
  • notable
  • potentially
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