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Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people have benefited from modern communications technology, but some people have not benefited from it at all. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
The issue of whether
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modren
Correct your spelling
modern
communications
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technology
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have
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has
show examples
 benefited has sparked considerable debate in recent years.Some
people
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 believe that
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modren
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modern
communications
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technology
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 benefited ,
while
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 others argue that
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modren
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modern
communications
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technology
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many
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has many
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 drawbacks.
This
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 essay will examine both perspectives before offering my own opinion.
Although
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 both arguments have their merits,I firmly believe that
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modren
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modern
communications
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technology
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have
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has
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 positive aspects.
Body paragraph 1
On one hand,those who advocate for having benefits from
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modren
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modern
communications
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technology
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 argue that it
gains
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allows
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people
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communcate
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to communicate
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 easily and from far
region
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regions
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.
For instance
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,if a girl travels to
foreign
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a foreign
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 country to study,she can
communcate
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communicate
 with her family from
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technology
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.
In addition
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,many
people
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 are intrested about
technology
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 because it is the fastest method.
For example
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,if a woman wants to confirm about some
infotmation
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information
,she can search on her
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modren
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modern
technology
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.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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,many who hold the belief that
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modren
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modern
 communication
technology
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have
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has
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 drawbacks emphasise that it might affect young
people
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.
For instance
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,if a child calls someone strange ,he might be kidnapped.
Furthermore
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,
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modren
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modern
technology
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 might impact
on
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apply
show examples
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people eays
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people's lives
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.
For example
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,if a girl uses her device long time to chat
her
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with her
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 friends,she might damage her eyesight.
Conclusion
To sum up
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,
while
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 there are valid arguments on both sides ,I firmly believe that
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modren
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modern
 communication
technology
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 benefited.The reasons outlined above clearly demonstrate that it is good to assist
people
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 .

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task response
Make your main view clear from the start. Say how far you agree that some people do not get help from this technology.
task response
Talk more about people who do not benefit. For example, old people, poor people, or people in places with no internet may not be able to use phones or online services.
task response
Explain each example more. Do not only say that a child may call a stranger. Say why this is a risk and how adults can keep children safe.
task response
Use more exact ideas. The point about eye damage is linked to long device use, but it does not show that people get no benefit from communication technology.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an end. Keep this plan, but make each paragraph support your main view more closely.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. You use “On one hand”, “On the other hand”, and “To sum up” well. Add simple links such as “This means that” and “As a result” to show why your example proves your point.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. In the first body paragraph, focus on how technology helps people stay in touch. In the next, focus on why some people cannot use it or may be harmed by it.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating “modern communications technology” in almost every sentence. Use “this technology”, “phones”, “the internet”, or “online tools” after you name it once.
task response
You answer the question and give your own view in both the introduction and the end.
task response
You give real-life examples, such as a student abroad talking to her family and a person looking for information.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because it has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use clear paragraph markers, such as “On one hand” and “On the other hand”.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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