IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You arranged to visit a friend in England but an important event at home now means that you must change the dates of the visit. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: explain the important event; apologise for

7.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Dear Ayushi, Hope you're doing well. I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to inform you about the special
event
Use synonyms
 which prevents me from meeting you in England as we decided earlier. My mother arranged a special
event
Use synonyms
 for all our family members and relatives in order to celebrate our family tradition. So, I have to be there to help her with her preparations for that
event
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I haven't met my relatives from
last
Linking Words
 year, so
this
Linking Words
 would be the best chance to improve our bond with each other and get to know about the family traditions.
Due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
event
Use synonyms
 i want to change the dates of my visit to England. How about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
July 25? Sorry for the inconvenience. I hope you will understand my situation.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, I get to know that the famous singer will be going to perform in London during my stay.
This
Linking Words
 will be a great chance to attend the concert as
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 know how passionate you are about the music. I hope we will meet soon and enjoy ourselves a lot. Take care Your friend, Zarna

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Explain the family event more clearly. Say what the tradition is and why your help is needed. Also ask your friend if 25 July is good for her.
task response
Your apology is polite, but add that you are sorry to change the plan at a late time.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear order: reason, new date, sorry, and plan. Make the link between the family event and the new visit date more direct.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main point in each part. The part about the singer is nice, but it could be in a short new part after the new date.
coherence and cohesion
Use capital “I” each time. Also use “on 25 July” rather than “the July 25.”
task response
You cover the main needs: you give a reason, say sorry, and suggest a new date.
task response
The tone is warm and friendly, which is right for a letter to a friend.
coherence and cohesion
The letter is easy to follow, with clear parts and a kind ending.
coherence and cohesion
The greeting and closing fit a friendly personal letter well.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: