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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that it is possible to tell a lot about a person's culture and character from their choice of clothes. Do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
It is often argued that there is a possibility that an
individual
Check wording
individual's
show examples
choice
Use synonyms
 of
clothes
Use synonyms
 describes numerous things about them
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
cultural
Correct determiner usage
their cultural
show examples
 background and
personality
Use synonyms
 traits. I strongly agree with the notion because
clothes
Use synonyms
 often
reflects
Correct subject-verb agreement
reflect
show examples
 a person's cultural heritage and provide clues about their personal priorities.
Body paragraph 1
To commence with, there are a plethora of reasons why
clothes
Use synonyms
 show cultural background. In many societies,
people
Use synonyms
 often wear their traditional
clothes
Use synonyms
 during
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
show examples
 festival that represents their heritage. To explain it, in India, citizens often wear
sari
Correct article usage
a sari
show examples
 or Indian traditional
clothes
Use synonyms
 during Diwali, a festival of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lights celebrated throughout India that defines unity among
nation
Correct article usage
the nation
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, there are different
attires
Check wording
attire
show examples
 in different countries that show from which part of the world a person belongs to.
Body paragraph 2
In addition
Linking Words
, a person's
choice
Use synonyms
 of
clothes
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 reflects their personal characteristics.
People
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 who are bold and confident
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 choose bold colored
clothes
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 with dark makeup,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 often reflects that they are quite confident in
taking
Verb problem
making
show examples
 life decisions.
However
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who are
introvert
Replace the word
introverted
 and calm usually prefer neutral colored
clothes
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along with
Linking Words
light
Correct article usage
a light
show examples
 or no makeup
looks
Check wording
look
show examples
.
Hence
Linking Words
, the way one is dressed
reflect
Correct subject-verb agreement
reflects
show examples
 various aspects of our
personality
Use synonyms
 even without interacting with them.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, rich
people
Use synonyms
 prefer branded
clothes
Use synonyms
 with
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
 logo on it representing luxury
Linking Words
whereas
Punctuation problem
, whereas
show examples
 others prefer non-branded
clothes
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I believe that clothing represents multifaceted tool representing both culture and
personality
Use synonyms
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
people
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
choice
Replace the word
choose
 traditional
clothes
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
for a
show examples
 particular festive season
depending
Punctuation problem
, depending
show examples
 upon a country
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
Use synonyms
choice
Correct article usage
the choice
show examples
 of colour of
clothes
Use synonyms
refects
Correct your spelling
reflects
 their
personality
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Your view is clear: you agree. Keep this clear view in every part of the essay. Develop the idea about culture more fully. Explain how clothes can show a group, a place, or a family tradition, not only a festival.
task response
Be careful with broad claims about character. Clothes may give clues, but they do not always show what a person is really like. Add a line such as: “However, clothes cannot fully show a person’s character.” This makes your argument more fair and strong.
task response
Your India example is useful, but make it more exact. Say that many people wear traditional dress at Diwali, rather than saying all citizens do. Explain clearly how this dress shows culture.
task response
The points about bold colours, make-up, money, and brands need more support. A person may wear bright clothes for fashion or work, so do not link one style directly to one type of character. Give a more careful reason or a short real-life example.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: introduction, culture, character, and conclusion. Keep one main idea in each body paragraph. The point about rich people and brands could be part of a new paragraph about social status, or it could be removed.
coherence and cohesion
Use links in a more natural way. “To commence with” is less natural here; use “First” or “To begin with”. Also, do not begin too many ideas with “In addition” or “Furthermore”.
coherence and cohesion
Make the last sentence of each paragraph clearly connect back to the main point. For example: “Therefore, traditional dress can show a person’s cultural background.”
coherence and cohesion
Check word forms and agreement so your ideas are easy to follow: “clothes often reflect”, “a person’s choice”, “during particular festivals”, “people who are introverted”, and “the way one dresses reflects”.
task response
You answer the question directly and clearly state that you agree.
task response
You use two relevant main ideas: cultural heritage and personal traits. The example of traditional Indian dress at Diwali helps support the first idea.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear beginning, two body paragraphs, and an ending. This makes the reader able to follow your argument.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words, such as “However”, “In addition”, and “Hence”, to show how ideas are connected.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • attire
  • fashion trends
  • individuality
  • first impressions
  • designer labels
  • social status
  • cultural appropriation
  • dress codes
  • traditional garments
  • sartorial choices
  • symbolism in clothing
  • cultural identity
  • expression of self
  • global fashion industry
  • cultural integration
What to do next:
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