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Writing Samples
Band 7

3.Social media is a good thing for modern society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

7.0 / 9
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Introduction
In today’s technology-driven world, the public is exposed to the impact of social
media
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 none of us can imagine life without
such
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 platforms. It is argued that social networking sites have a beneficial effect on individuals.
Although
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 some might disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, I fully agree with it because social
media
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 offers significant opportunities for
career
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 prospects and serves as a vital catalyst for community cohesion.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
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 with, one of the positive influences provided by virtual networks is
career
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 advancement. Many
people
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 launch blogs to showcase their skills and,
as a result
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, become well-known to a wide audience.
This
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 visibility often leads to job offers, freelance contracts, and other
career
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 opportunities. A prime example is Cristiano Ronaldo, who uses his Instagram account to reach a global audience, securing lucrative sponsorship deals that significantly boost his income.
Thus
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,
this
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 example can single-handedly express my view about the positive side of social
media
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.
Body paragraph 2
Another reason is that social
media
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 platforms allow
people
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 to communicate and share information and
opinion
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opinions
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, even when they are in different locations.
This
Linking Words
 is particularly crucial for building social capital and decreasing social isolation, which is one of the detrimental problems of the 21st century. To illustrate, during the COVID-19 pandemic, millions of
people
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 used platforms like Zoom and WhatsApp to stay connected with family and friends.
This
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 clearly demonstrates that social
media
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 can effectively reduce loneliness and strengthen social ties, even in difficult circumstances.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I firmly believe that social
media
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 has a beneficial effect on individuals. It creates valuable
career
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 opportunities,
such
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 as building personal brands and finding jobs, and it helps
people
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 maintain social connections, reducing isolation.
Therefore
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, despite some drawbacks, the positive impact of virtual networks on individuals is undeniable.

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task response
State your view clearly, as you do, and keep each main point linked to the question about modern society, not only to people.
task response
Your two main ideas are clear. Add a little more detail about how job chances and social links help society as a whole.
task response
The Ronaldo example is relevant, but it is about a very famous person. Add a more common case, such as a small business owner or a job seeker.
task response
You say that there are drawbacks only in the last line. Briefly name one problem and explain why the good points are still stronger. This will make your view more complete.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: opening, two body parts, and ending. Keep this strong shape.
coherence and cohesion
Each body part has one main idea and an example. Make the link from the example to the main idea more direct. For example, explain how online fame can lead to real work for ordinary users.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. 'Thus, this example can single-handedly express my view' is not natural. Write: 'This shows that social media can create work chances.'
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating words such as 'positive effect' and 'social media'. Use simple changes such as 'these sites', 'online platforms', or 'this benefit'.
task response
You answer the question directly and give a clear view from the start to the end.
task response
The points about work and staying in touch are relevant and well chosen.
coherence and cohesion
The opening and ending are clear, and the ending brings back both main points.
coherence and cohesion
The use of 'To begin with', 'Another reason', and 'In conclusion' makes the flow easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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