IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

All university undergraduate courses should include a period of time spent studying abroad or doing a work placement. Do you think the advantages of this would outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
There is no denying the fact that education has a pivotal role in our lives.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that adding new courses has many advantages for the
students
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, there is
also
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 an argument that
students
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 need to focus on their important subjects.
This
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 essay will analyse
this
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 topic from both points of view and express my opinion.
Body paragraph 1
On one hand, some people believe that adding an extra course to the university's courses provides the
students
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 with experiences.
This
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 is because it allows them to engage with other
students
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 in another country,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 means that they are able to exchange information and knowledge that helps them in their future career.
For example
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, when a postgraduate student has completed his studies abroad, come back to his country with a wealth of experiences.
Therefore
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, adding another course is tremendous for the
students
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.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, some people claim that it distracts
students
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 from their studies. It is possible to say that the university stage is important for the
students
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, if they become busy with working in some area or even go out to study,it is time wasting and they will not
able
Verb problem
be able
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 to focus on the important subjects.
As a result
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, many
students
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 will fall
in
Change preposition
behind in
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 university rather than grow.
Conclusion
In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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 question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that we should give
students
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 the chance to travel abroad or do a work placement, so it can give them a sight for the future.

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task response
Answer the main question more directly. State clearly in the first paragraph that the good points are greater than the bad points, and keep this view through the whole essay.
task response
Write about the exact ideas in the question: time abroad and work placement. Do not call them “new courses”, because they are not simply extra classes.
task response
Develop each main point with a clear reason and result. For example, study abroad can help students learn about other ways of life, while work placement can give them real job skills and help them find work later.
task response
Your example is too general and only talks about study abroad. Add a clear example for work placement, such as an engineering student working with a local company and learning how class work is used in real jobs.
task response
Explain the bad points more fairly, such as cost, time away from family, or a placement that is not linked to the student’s subject. Then explain why these problems can be reduced.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clearer plan: introduction with your view; one paragraph on the good points; one paragraph on the bad points; then a conclusion that repeats your view.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body paragraph with one clear main idea. For example: “The main advantage is that students gain real skills.” This makes the reader understand your point at once.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words used in the right way: “For example”, “As a result”, “However”, and “In contrast”. Avoid very long sentences with many ideas joined by commas.
coherence and cohesion
Make the final paragraph stronger. Instead of saying there are no easy answers, say why you believe the good points are greater than the bad points.
task response
You discuss both sides and give your own view in the conclusion. This shows that you understand the question asks for a balanced answer.
task response
You include a relevant idea about meeting people in another country and sharing knowledge. This is a useful benefit of time spent abroad.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The phrases “On one hand” and “On the other hand” help show the change between the two sides.
coherence and cohesion
You use cause-and-result links, such as “This is because” and “As a result”. These help connect some of your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • study abroad
  • work placement
  • real-world experience
  • practical skills
  • academic knowledge
  • open-minded
  • independent
  • self-confidence
  • adapt to change
  • career chances
  • cultural understanding
  • language skills
  • financial cost
  • family responsibilities
  • compulsory
  • flexible choice
  • personal growth
  • hands-on learning
  • future employer
  • equal opportunity
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