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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that students should be allowed to evaluate and criticise their teachers to improve the quality of education. Others think this is disrespectful to teachers. Discuss both views, give your opinion and include relevant examples.

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Introduction
Whether
teachers
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 should be evaluated by their own students is a topic of considerable debate. Some individuals discuss that it would be disrespectful for them,
while
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other
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others
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 believe that it is a way to ensure a good quality in education. In
this
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 essay,
i
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I
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 will discuss each perspective and give my opinion.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand,
teachers
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 have already gone through multiple evaluations before working in their field. They study at college, get a degree and undergo work interviews and even public exams. Evaluating them after all these steps would feel like the system does not guarantee
a
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apply
show examples
proper preparation.
Furthermore
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,
an hipothetic
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a hypothetical
 evaluation should be done by an uninterested
part
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party
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,
such
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 as an education
commitee
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committee
. Allowing students to take part in that issue could lead to youngsters criticising
teachers
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 they have had problems with.
For example
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, a student could speak against a mentor who didn´t pass his exam.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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,
teachers
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 have the obligation to keep learning and improving. Maybe the correct method of teaching years ago
it
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apply
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is not
aceptable
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acceptable
 in our days.
For example
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, some
profesionals
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professionals
 refuse to adapt to the changing times and keep using an obsolete way of
transmiting
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transmitting
 their knowledge. Learners can play a key role in
this
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 problem. As the interested
part
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party
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, they are the best candidates to judge if the teaching method is being
adecuate
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adequate
.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
i
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I
show examples
 personally believe that mentors should be evaluated
periodicaly
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periodically
 by a
commitee
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committee
 to guarantee a good quality in education.
Nevertheless
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, it should never be in
hands
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the hands
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 of the students, as their decisions could be moved by the wrong reasons.

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task response
You discuss both sides and give a clear view. However, your view could be stronger: explain why student views should not be used at all, rather than only saying that some students may be unfair.
task response
Develop each main idea more fully. For example, student views can show if lessons are clear, fair, and helpful. A school group can also check student views, so one angry student cannot harm a teacher.
task response
Your examples are useful, but make them more real and clear. Explain how a student who fails an exam may give unfair comments, and how this can affect the final result.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part shape: start, two main parts, and end. Keep this plan, but make the link between ideas smoother with simple words such as “because”, “therefore”, “however”, and “as a result”.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are not clear or are not well linked. For example, change “Maybe the correct method of teaching years ago it is not aceptable in our days” to “A teaching method that worked years ago may not work well today.”
coherence and cohesion
Use the same key words with care. You use “teachers”, “mentors”, and “professionals” for the same people. Mainly use “teachers” so the reader can follow your ideas easily.
coherence and cohesion
Make your final view match the question more closely. You say students should never take part, but the first view is about allowing them to give comments. You could say that student comments should be used, but checked by a school group.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you explain both views, state your own view, and use examples.
task response
Your main point is clear: teacher checks can help keep education good, but unfair student comments may be a problem.
coherence and cohesion
The use of “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, and “In conclusion” makes the essay easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Each body part has one main idea, which gives your writing a clear order.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • democratic approach
  • enhance teaching methods
  • empower students
  • tailored teaching styles
  • non-constructive criticism
  • subjective ratings
  • teacher competence
  • job insecurity
  • teacher's authority
  • assessments' validity
  • peers or superiors
  • education quality
  • continuous improvement
  • undermine confidence
  • professional development
  • harsh critiques
  • teacher-student relationships
  • reflective teaching
  • collaboration
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