IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

students should pay their full university fees themselves as they benefit from having university studying and the society as a whole. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
Some
people
Use synonyms
 might argue that governments should not pay
university
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 fees for
students
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. I partly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, because
students
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 should carry some responsibility for their own education, and a more educated society benefits everyone.
However
Linking Words
, the level of debt involved is unmanageable for some, and they end up withdrawing from
university
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 altogether.
Body paragraph 1
There are good reasons why
students
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 should contribute to the cost of their education. Money that would
otherwise
Linking Words
 fund tuition could be spent on better roads, faster public transport, and services that benefit everyone, not only those who attend
university
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. A shop worker who never went to
university
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 contributes to the same budget, and better public services return that money to them in a way tuition never could.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, taxpayers may object to funding
students
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 who contribute little in return,
such
Linking Words
 as those who are failing or close to dropping out.
Body paragraph 2
However
Linking Words
, some
students
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 cannot afford to take on that level of debt, which can cause stress, depression, or withdrawal from
university
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.
This
Linking Words
 can backfire on society, leaving it with fewer qualified
people
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 because some had no choice but to drop out.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 seems unfair to
people
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 from lower-income families, some of whom might have become doctors or engineers had cost not stood in the way.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I partly agree that
students
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 should pay for their own education. A contribution is reasonable, but expecting them to cover the full cost would shut out talented
people
Use synonyms
 who cannot afford it, and society would lose more than it saves.

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task response
Your main view is clear: students should pay some of the cost, but not all of it. To make it even stronger, say this exact view in the first paragraph and use the same words again in the last paragraph.
task response
You give two good reasons: public money can help all people, and high fees can stop able students from going to university. Add one short real-life example, such as a student from a poor home who cannot study medicine because of the cost.
task response
The point about students who fail or leave university is useful, but explain it more. For example, say that this is why public help could depend on good work and regular study.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: your view, reasons for payment, reasons against full payment, then a final view. Keep this strong four-part plan.
coherence and cohesion
The links between ideas are clear. You use words such as “However”, “Furthermore”, and “Moreover” well. Try not to use too many link words; at times, a simple new sentence will sound more natural.
coherence and cohesion
Some long sentences carry many ideas. Break them into two shorter sentences when you explain debt, stress, and leaving university. This will make your meaning easier to follow.
task response
You answer the whole question and keep a clear partly agree view from start to end.
task response
Your ideas are useful and closely linked to the topic, especially the effect on poor students and the need to spend public money on all people.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main job, and the final paragraph gives a clear summary of your view.
coherence and cohesion
The move from one side of the argument to the other is smooth and easy to understand.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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