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Band 3.5

Some teachers says international student exchange program would be beneficial for all teenage school students. Do you think its advantages will outweigh the disadvantage.

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Introduction
Overseas
Correct article usage
The overseas
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 student exchange programme has been in continuous use for the past few years. Some tutors believe that all adolescent school students would
be benefited
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benefit
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 from
this
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 programme. In my opinion,
this
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 scheme
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 more benefits than drawbacks. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss
about
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apply
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various advantages in the subsequent paragraphs.
Body paragraph 1
To commence with, through these programs, pupils can explore other
country’s
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countries’
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 education, culture, and lifestyle at a very young age. When they travel overseas, they gain useful
,
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apply
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 and memorable
experience
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experiences
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. They get to know about various cultural differences and how
do
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apply
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people live in a different way. In
this
Linking Words
 way, they become knowledgeable about various aspects, and their communication
,
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apply
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 decision making skills
,
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apply
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get improved
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improve
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 over time.
For instance
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, if a young Indian student
travel
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travels
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 to Canada for studies, their English improves with time, and
decision making
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decision-making
 becomes better, when they
take
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make
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 every decision on their own.
Body paragraph 2
Furthermore
Linking Words
, young students become independent when they live on their own.
Along with
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 concentrating on their studies, they
also
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 try to do some part-time jobs, so that they can fulfil their fees, and can manage their living expenses. In the
mean time
Correct your spelling
meantime
, they do not rely on their caregivers for money. Some pupils lend the money to their family members as well, to help them to some extent.
Hence
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, their financial planning
also
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 improves.
Conclusion
To recapitulate, with the help of the global academic student exchange programme, young people can become sophisticated at a very early age
,
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apply
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 through experiencing different aspects of life.

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task response
Give a clearer answer to the main question. Say why the good points are stronger than the bad points, not only that there are more good points.
task response
Add one main bad point, such as cost, stress, or young students missing home. Then explain why the good points are still more important.
task response
Develop each main idea more. For example, explain how living in a new place helps a student make choices and solve daily problems.
task response
Your Canada example is useful, but make it more exact. Also, be careful: an exchange program may not give students enough time to work and pay all their costs.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an ending. Keep this simple plan, but make each body part answer the question more directly.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way. You can use “First,” “Also,” “However,” and “Therefore” instead of long opening phrases in every part.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating words such as “various” and “improves.” Use simple different words, such as “many,” “better,” and “help.”
coherence and cohesion
Make the last paragraph stronger. Restate the two good points and say clearly why they are greater than the bad point.
task response
You give clear good points: learning about other ways of life, better language use, and becoming more independent.
task response
The example of an Indian student in Canada helps show how an exchange visit can improve English and daily choice making.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are put in a clear order: learning about a new place first, then living on one’s own.
coherence and cohesion
You use paragraphs and linking words, which makes the essay easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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