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Writing Samples
Band 5

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

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Introduction
In today’s competitive world, taking
risks
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 can be an essential skill for people
whether
Punctuation problem
, whether
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 it is for career or personal matters.
However
Linking Words
, some people argue that it can sometimes make people feel restless and overwhelmed. Personally, I believe that the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages.
Body paragraph 1
One
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 of the main downsides of taking
risks
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 is that we tend to take things seriously all the time. Trying to think outside the box the whole time can make us feel overwhelmed and exacerbate
the
Correct article usage
our
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 stress
level
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levels
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.And, venturing into the unknown can always be scary, and we can’t help but experience those high levels of stress hormones
which
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, which
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 can bring negative impacts on our mental health in the long run. Another disadvantage is that it can knock our confidence. As taking
risks
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 does not guarantee success, failures are unavoidable
and
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, and
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 those moments can really drag us down in
one
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 way or another.
Body paragraph 2
Despite these drawbacks, taking
risks
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 can help us become more well-rounded persons by polishing our
problem solving
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problem-solving
 skills and adaptability. As there is no
one
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-size-fits-all solution for all problems, it is essential for us to figure it out on our own. Just because
one
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 medicine is good for others, it does not mean that it
would
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will
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 work for you.
As we
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We
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 have to consider other factors
such
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 as background medical history, age and drug allergy. Deciding which
one
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 is the most suitable for
who
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whom
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 definitely needs skills
and
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, and
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 it can only be achieved by taking
risks
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. Playing
safe
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it safe
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 will never lead us to extraordinary things.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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 taking
risks
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 can be scary sometimes, the benefits are
way more
Rephrase
apply
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worth trying. The
boredomness
Replace the word
boredom
 of monotony makes risky things a more beneficial option.

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task response
State your main view more clearly: the good points are stronger than the bad points. Then show why each good point matters more in real life.
task response
Give a more clear and full example. The example about medicine is not closely linked to taking risks. Use an example such as changing jobs, starting a small business, or trying a new skill.
task response
Explain the link between risk and each result. For example, say how a failed job move can still teach a person useful skills and lead to a better job later.
task response
Your last line about boredom is not fully explained. Replace it with a final thought that directly answers the question: careful risks can bring growth, new chances, and useful learning.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an end. To make the flow better, begin each body part with one direct main idea and keep all later lines on that idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words to show the path of your ideas: "First", "Also", "However", "For example", and "As a result". Do not use too many links in one long sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too long or not complete. Split them into short sentences. For example, "We must consider medical history, age, and drug allergy. Choosing the right medicine needs care."
coherence and cohesion
Avoid general lines that do not add much, such as "Playing safe will never lead us to extraordinary things." Explain one real result instead.
task response
You answer the question clearly and give your own view in both the first and last parts.
task response
You include both sides of the issue: stress and loss of trust on one side, and learning and change on the other.
coherence and cohesion
The essay follows an easy-to-follow order: opening view, bad points, good points, and final answer.
coherence and cohesion
The words "Despite these drawbacks" help the reader move clearly from the bad side to the good side.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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