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Writing Samples
Band 4

More and more people are using computers and electric devices to access information, therefore there is no need for printed books, magazines and newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Technology)

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nowadays
technology
Use synonyms
 is used everywhere and anywhere
and
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, and
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 people
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 use books or magazines anymore to be entertaining or educated. I
disagree
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disagree,
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 knowledge is everywhere
especially
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, especially
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 in books
i
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. I
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 think it is
authenticated
Replace the word
authentic
 and more trustable im not saying
technology
Use synonyms
isnt
Correct your spelling
isn't
 important
despite
Correct word choice
, but
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 you will find what you're looking for from different sources.
but
Capitalize the word
But
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 the good side of
technology
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 and the internet
there
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, there
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 are levels to it
like
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, like
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 tutorials on stuff you never got to learn
like
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, like
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 driving or fixing something in the house
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. However,
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however
Linking Words
 most people will disagree
but
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, but
show examples
 use
technology
Use synonyms
 all the time

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task response
Give a clear answer in the first part. You disagree, but say how far: for example, you disagree because printed reading still has an important place.
task response
Develop both main ideas. Explain why books may be more trusted, then explain why the internet is useful. Say why these points support your view.
task response
Add real examples. For example, a book from a known writer may be checked before it is sold, while some online posts may be wrong.
task response
Write a full ending. Repeat your main view and say that technology is useful, but it cannot fully take the place of printed books, magazines, and newspapers.
coherence and cohesion
Use four clear parts: an opening, one part about printed reading, one part about technology, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
Start each part with one main point. Then add an explanation and an example before moving to the next point.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words to show the flow of your ideas: 'First', 'For example', 'However', 'Also', and 'In the end'.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid putting many ideas in one long sentence. Break them into short, clear sentences so the reader can follow your meaning.
task response
You clearly show that you do not fully agree with the idea that printed reading is no longer needed.
task response
You include both sides: trusted information in books and useful online help such as tutorials.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas have a basic order: you first state your view, then discuss technology.
coherence and cohesion
The link word 'however' helps show a change from one idea to another.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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