An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

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Introduction
A lot of skilled
workers
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are trying to work abroad and leave their own
country
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to seek better
opportunities
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. In
this
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essay, I will discuss the reasons and possible solutions for
this
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.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
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with, there is a huge problem for skilled
workers
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if the economy of their
country
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is not in good condition, especially in poor countries. Just like in the Philippines, there are a lot of
workers
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, but the job
opportunities
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are not enough for everyone.
For instance
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, doctors finish their studies, but for
some
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some,
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it’s hard to find a job. Because most of the jobs are already taken, and most of the time
you
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, you
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need connections to enter the company.
Thus
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, the salary is not big enough to live on.
Therefore
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, the salary is minimal and can only buy daily essentials, but not a comfortable life. Not only doctors, but
also
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teachers and other professionals seek to go abroad for a better salary, career growth, and a better quality of life.
Body paragraph 2
To solve
this
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problem, the government of that
country
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must take actions like providing enough and secure jobs for everyone.
Moreover
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, they should try to communicate with other investors to invest in their
country
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, resulting in enough
opportunities
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for skilled
workers
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.
Also
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, they should raise salaries and give enough and fair benefits for all.
Conclusion
To conclude
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, even if the
country
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is not that rich, the government should do something for its citizens. To provide
opportunities
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, give equal benefits, and appreciate all the
workers
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, especially the skilled
workers
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, because they’re the ones who can make the economy rise.

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task response
You answer both parts: the problems and what the government can do. However, make the main problem clearer: when doctors and teachers leave, there are fewer trained people to help patients and teach children at home.
task response
Add one more clear result of this loss. For example, fewer doctors can mean long waits at hospitals, while fewer teachers can mean larger classes and less help for children.
task response
Your ideas about more jobs, more pay, and fair help are useful. Explain how each step can make skilled workers stay, such as better pay helping them meet daily needs at home.
task response
The example of the Philippines is relevant, but it mainly explains why people leave. Link it more directly to the effect on the country after trained workers go abroad.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an ending. Keep this plan, but make the first body part focus on problems caused by leaving, not only on reasons for leaving.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic lines at the start of each body part. For example: “This can harm poorer countries in several ways.” Then give the effects before moving to the next point.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas repeat, especially low pay and few jobs. Put these together once, then use the next lines to explain the result for hospitals, schools, and the wider country.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. “For example”, “As a result”, and “To deal with this” can show the link between an idea, its effect, and a solution.
task response
You give a real example and clear reasons why skilled workers may want to leave, including pay, work chances, and a better life.
task response
Your solutions are practical and fit the topic: more jobs, more outside money, better pay, and fair help for workers.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because it has an introduction, a paragraph on the issue, a paragraph on solutions, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use useful signposts such as “To begin with”, “Moreover”, “Also”, and “To conclude” to guide the reader.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Brain drain
  • Skilled professionals
  • Healthcare systems
  • Education systems
  • Economic growth
  • Dependency on foreign aid
  • Social inequality
  • Quality healthcare
  • Quality education
  • Retain talent
  • International cooperation
  • Sustainable growth
  • Scholarships
  • Professional development
  • Remote work capabilities
  • Local research funding
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