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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The map show a present layout of an office building and plans for its future redevelopment.

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The map show a present layout of an office building and plans for its future redevelopment.
The map shows the current
structer
Correct your spelling
structure
 of an office space and the future redevelopment plan.
Overall
Linking Words
, many facilities were cleared out,
such
Linking Words
 as the grass, the kitchen, and the canteen.
Whereas
Linking Words
 new areas were added
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
 example, the outdoor seating
area
Use synonyms
, the meeting
area
Use synonyms
, and office areas. Starting off with the grass spaces, in the southeast it was replaced by a meeting
area
Use synonyms
, and
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the northeast it was replaced by a
caffee mechine
Correct your spelling
cafe machine
 and
also
Linking Words
 a bathroom. Moving to the grass
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the west of the
map
Punctuation problem
map,
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 it was replaced by an outdoor seating
area
Use synonyms
 northwest
diraction
Correct your spelling
direction
, and chairs at the southwest. A noticeable
diffrenece
Correct your spelling
difference
 in the plan would be the change of the entrance location from
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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being at the east side of the
center
Change the spelling
centre
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 to being at the
center
Change the spelling
centre
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 exactly. Regarding the north part of the
plan
Add a comma
plan,
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 the storeroom remained untouched
while
Linking Words
 both the kitchen and the canteen were replaced by offices.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 at the south
Linking Words
instead
Punctuation problem
, instead
show examples
 of the four office
areas
Punctuation problem
areas,
show examples
 it was reduced to only two offices.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words area with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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