IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

“Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?”

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Introduction
As
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 products can be bought anywhere globally, differences among every nation have
also
Linking Words
 become blurred. From my perspective,
this
Linking Words
 trend is a net positive development for the following reasons.
Body paragraph 1
The chief excuse for my stance is the
modernization
Change the spelling
modernisation
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 and globalization the similarity introduces to each country. The worldwide access to
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 consumer goods can showcase nations' efforts to exchange diverse
culture
Check wording
cultures
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 and import quality foreign products for their residents.
Such
Linking Words
 attempts may offer some conveniences, including saving time, short travel, or meet daily needs of almost
citizens
Correct determiner usage
all citizens
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, gradually turning local places, especially underprivileged ones
into
Punctuation problem
, into
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 a more dynamic and resource-rich environment. Similar
as
Change preposition
to
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 many nations
seem to be
Verb problem
apply
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, the development has helped promoted higher life quality through available common products, which
also
Linking Words
 link to important international trades.
Conclusion
Moreover
Linking Words
, the parallel among several countries inevitably happens.

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task response
Your main view is clear: you think this is a good change. However, the essay is far too short and stops in the middle of the second main point. Write two full body parts and a short end part that repeats your view.
task response
Explain why buying the same goods is good in a more direct way. For example, say that people can buy safe food, useful phones, or low-cost clothes. Then explain how each example helps people.
task response
Use real or clear made-up examples. For example, people in a small town may buy the same health goods as people in a big city. This can save time and help daily life.
coherence and cohesion
The first part gives your view, but the next part has very long and hard-to-follow sentences. Use short sentences with one main idea in each sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body part clear. Start with a main idea, add an example, explain it, and link it back to your view. The second body part only has one short line, so it does not form a full point.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words in a clear way: First, Also, For example, As a result, and In the end. Do not use unclear links such as “Similar as many nations seem to be”.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas are not clear, such as “short travel” and “important international trades.” Say exactly what you mean and how it answers the question.
task response
You answer the question directly and state your view in the first part.
task response
You try to give reasons about easier access to goods and better daily life.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear first part and begins a new body point with “Moreover.”
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • cultural homogenization
  • economies of scale
  • standard of living
  • consumerism
  • multinational corporations
  • commercialization
  • brand dominance
  • sustainability
  • carbon footprint
  • expatriates
  • cultural identity
  • technological innovation
  • global market
  • mass production
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