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Writing Samples
Band 5

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Introduction
International trade has been increasing for the past few years. Some
people
Use synonyms
 reckon that nations are more
resembling
Replace the word
similar
 to each other, because of the availability of similar
items
Use synonyms
, everywhere in the world. I believe that
this
Linking Words
 is a positive development, and I will discuss several reasons in the following paragraphs.
Body paragraph 1
To commence with,
this
Linking Words
 resemblance among various countries is a symbol of increased global trade of different
products
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
This
Correct determiner usage
The
show examples
 selling and buying of goods across national borders plays an important role in
economic
Correct article usage
the economic
show examples
 growth of the nations. The importing and exporting between countries creates many employment opportunities for the local
people
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, an Indian food
companies export
Correct subject-verb agreement
company exports
show examples
 a wide range of food
items
Use synonyms
 to Canada. In Canada, they have their own offices, factories and distribution network system, which creates
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job opportunities for the local residents.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it helps in economic development.
Body paragraph 2
Furthermore
Linking Words
, with
this
Linking Words
 trend,
people
Use synonyms
 can explore and experience goods of other nations. They can try these
items
Use synonyms
 and can find out which suits them the best.
For instance
Linking Words
, Korean beauty
products
Use synonyms
 have become popular in India in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent years. Most of these
products
Use synonyms
 are usually designed to achieve a glowy and
glass
Correct word choice
glassy
show examples
 skin. So, Indian
people
Use synonyms
 can easily access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
those skin care
items
Use synonyms
, who
wishes
Correct subject-verb agreement
wish
show examples
 to achieve a Korean-like healthy skin.
Additionally
Linking Words
, folks become more aware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
items
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 that are being used worldwide.
Conclusion
To recapitulate,
this
Linking Words
 similarity among different countries increases the sense of brotherhood between folks. They can enjoy a wide variety of
products
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 without crossing their country’s borders.

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task response
Your view is clear: you think this change is good. Keep this view clear in each main part.
task response
Explain more fully why having the same goods in many places is good for people, not only for trade and jobs. For example, say how more choice may help people get better or lower-cost goods.
task response
Your examples fit your main ideas, but make them more exact and natural. Check that each example clearly shows how countries becoming alike is a good change.
task response
The last part adds a new idea about brotherhood. Either explain this idea in a main part or keep the end as a short summary of the two main ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an end. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use fewer linking words such as “Furthermore” and “Additionally” when the link is already clear. Instead, make the first sentence of each part state the main point clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too long or have too many ideas. Split them into two short sentences to make the meaning easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same key words through each part. For example, use “products” or “goods” in one idea, rather than changing often between “items”, “goods”, and “products”.
task response
You answer the question directly and give a clear positive view.
task response
You give two relevant main ideas: more jobs through trade and more choice for people.
task response
The examples of Indian food in Canada and Korean skin care in India support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Each main part has one main idea, which helps the reader follow your writing.
coherence and cohesion
The opening tells the reader what your essay will discuss, and the ending returns to the main topic.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
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