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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Creative artists should always be given freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restriction on what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

7.5 / 9
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Introduction
It is often argued that writers, musicians and filmmakers should have the authority to express their ideas without government
restrictions
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. I largely agree that artists need freedom because art can challenge old beliefs and encourage public discussion.
However
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, complete freedom may be harmful when material directly promotes violence, hatred or criminal behaviour.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, free artistic expression allows different cultures, lifestyles and political opinions to be represented.
In addition
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, writers produce novels and articles related to current issues,
such
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 as child abuse, robbery and political affairs, which
helps
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help
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 the public become aware of the problems that people commonly experience in
society
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.
For example
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, many contemporary writers and filmmakers focus on women's empowerment, which can contribute to increasing women's job opportunities and strengthening their sense of self-identity in
society
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.
Therefore
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, artists play a significant role in creating a better
society
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 and bringing public problems to the government's attention through novels, films and songs.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, governments should implement some
restrictions
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,
such
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 as age ratings, content warnings and limits on public advertising, rather than banning an artwork completely.
Furthermore
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, any
restrictions
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 should be decided by independent bodies and applied fairly rather than being used to silence political opponents.
For instance
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, films related to politics and religion that contain provocative content can have detrimental implications and may create social tension, especially when
such
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 content becomes prevalent on social media.
Conclusion
To conclude
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,
although
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 freedom of expression is a fundamental necessity in a democratic
society
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, governments should impose reasonable
restrictions
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 on works that could have detrimental effects on individuals or
society
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.

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task response
State your view even more clearly in the first paragraph. Say that you agree with freedom in most cases, but support rules only for clear harm.
task response
Explain more fully why each limit is needed. For example, show how a film that asks people to harm others is different from a film that simply has a strong view about religion or politics.
task response
Your examples fit the topic, but they are quite general. Add one clear, real or made-up case and explain its result in more detail.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: freedom first, then limits, then a final view. Keep this plan.
coherence and cohesion
Make the link between the second main paragraph and your final paragraph closer. The final paragraph says limits may harm people or society, but the body also says rules must not be used to stop political views. Bring this key point into the final paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use a few more clear links to show cause and result, such as “As a result”, “This means that”, and “For this reason”. Do not use too many.
task response
You answer both sides of the question and give a clear main view: artists need broad freedom, but direct harm can need limits.
task response
Your points about public awareness, women’s rights, age limits, and fair review bodies are relevant and useful.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main purpose, and the ideas move in a clear and easy-to-follow order.
coherence and cohesion
The opening and final paragraphs match well, so the reader can clearly understand your overall view.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • artistic freedom
  • freedom of expression
  • government censorship
  • creative independence
  • challenge social norms
  • raise public awareness
  • reflect social realities
  • diverse viewpoints
  • political criticism
  • controversial content
  • original work
  • self-censorship
  • promote hatred
  • incite violence
  • protect vulnerable groups
  • age restrictions
  • content warnings
  • a balanced approach
  • independent review body
  • silence dissent
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