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Band 5.5

In some countries, it is becoming increasingly common for people to follow a vegetarian diet. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Introduction
There is an ongoing debate regarding the qualities require for successful sportperson, there are dual opinions, a number of individuals say that
talent
Use synonyms
 is must
on the other hand
Linking Words
, some others believe that hard work and
practice
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 are very essential. Prior to my stance, both the point of views will be discuss in the ensuing paragraphs with valid reason and appropriate examples.
Body paragraph 1
Discussing the former view, a group of
people
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 prioritize the quality of
talent
Use synonyms
 for expertise in any sports because talented
people
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 can easily achieve the
success
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. Talented
person
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 can effortlessly fathom the techniques and instructions that teach by a coach. It
also
Linking Words
 provides motivation to the
person
Use synonyms
 to be consistent for long time. As result,
person
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 can get expected outcoms, which contributes to their quick
success
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, thousand of
people
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 can try to be a successful cricketer but only few can be successful in it who are talend.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
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 give the importance to the hard work and
practice
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 because they believe practical make man perfect.
People
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 can be expert in any sport through constinet hand work and
practice
Use synonyms
, which reduce
person
Use synonyms
's mistakes and increasing the individual's confidence.
Consequently
Linking Words
person
Use synonyms
 become motivated to achieve their goal of
success
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. To illustrate, Many experienced and successful athletes in their interview or podcast, give the credit of their
success
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 to the hardwork and
practice
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.
Conclusion
To conclude
Linking Words
, During the discussion of qualities required for top sportperson, some
people
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 say
talent
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 is must
while
Linking Words
 others prioritize the hardwork and
practice
Use synonyms
. I firmly believe that
talent
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, to much hardwork and constant
practice
Use synonyms
 are equally important to be a successfull in any sector.

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task response
The essay answers a different question. The given topic is about vegetarian food, but your essay is about talent and hard work in sport. Read the question again and make every main idea answer that exact topic.
task response
For this question, state if the good points of a vegetarian diet are greater than the bad points. Then explain both sides and make your own view clear from the start to the end.
task response
Use clear, real examples about food. For example, you could write about health, lower cost, animal care, or the need to plan meals well to get enough protein and iron.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear basic order: introduction, one side, the other side, and conclusion. Keep this order, but make sure each paragraph is about the question asked.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body paragraph with one clear main point. After that, explain why it is true and give one example. This will make your ideas easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Good choices include “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “For example”, and “As a result”. Do not use long opening lines that do not add to your answer.
coherence and cohesion
Make your conclusion short and direct. Repeat your view in new words and say why the good points or bad points are stronger.
task response
You try to discuss both views and give your own view in the conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is divided into clear paragraphs, and the use of “On the other hand” helps show a change to the second view.
coherence and cohesion
You include examples in both body paragraphs, which is a good way to support a point.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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