IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think news has no connection to people's lives, so it is a waste of time to read the news in newspapers and watch television news programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

5.5 / 9
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Introduction
In modern society, life has changed a great deal, especially in the
news
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.
This
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 includes the connection and the impact. Some positive
people
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 believe that positive
news
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 is common.
However
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, other negative
people
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 believe that the negative
news
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 is difficult.
Thus
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, both views have significant points.
This
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 assay will provide key information to explore the topic.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, in terms of the agreements,
according to
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 the primary view,
according to
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 the given information, there are many agreements.
First,
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according to
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 the Kuwait Technology Report, 90% of
people
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 prefer
news
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.
This
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 is
due to
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 many significant impacts. The culture is one of the main reasons.
This
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 will increase the experience.
As a result
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,
people
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 can help the life.
Secondly
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, the positive activity is another major reason.
For example
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, the future method.
As a result
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, the problem becomes low.
Although
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 there are many right points, the impact is high.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, in terms of the disagreements,
according to
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 the secondary view,
according to
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 the given data, there are major disagreements.
First,
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according to
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 the Kuwait Hospital data, 80% of
people
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 can live without
news
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.
This
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 is
due to
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 major dramatic drawbacks. Health is the prime example. In another word, the health will decrease dramatically.
For example
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, the blood suger become high.
Conclusion
In conclusion, in terms of the advantages and disadvantages,
according to
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 the given report, there are many significant benefits.
However
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, there are many harmful points.
Thus
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, both views have significant marks.
Hence
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, the doctor recommends
people
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 follow the right tips for positive results and best life. I think that the
news
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 in benefits.
This
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 is
due to
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 the main reports.

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task response
State your own view clearly in the first paragraph. Say if you agree, disagree, or agree only in part. Keep this same view in all parts of the essay.
task response
Answer the real question: is news a waste of time because it has no link to daily life? Your essay talks about good and bad news, but it does not explain this main point enough.
task response
Use clear reasons. For example, news can help people know about storms, jobs, crime, health, school, and new laws. It can also waste time when it is only about famous people or bad events.
task response
Do not use reports or data unless you can explain why they are true and linked to your point. The Kuwait examples do not clearly show why news helps or harms daily life.
coherence and cohesion
Make one main idea in each body paragraph. Start with a clear topic sentence, explain it, give one real example, and then link it back to your view.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same words and phrases, such as “according to” and “significant.” Use simple links like “First,” “For example,” “As a result,” and “However” only when they show a real link.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: introduction with your view, one body paragraph with the first reason, one body paragraph with the second reason, and a conclusion that repeats your view.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas are hard to understand, such as “the future method” and “people can help the life.” Use direct sentences with a clear subject, verb, and idea.
task response
You try to discuss more than one side of the topic, which shows that you understand there can be different views.
task response
You include an ending paragraph and give a personal view near the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two main body parts, and a conclusion. This is a useful basic shape.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words, such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” “For example,” and “However.”
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Informed
  • Current events
  • Public awareness
  • Local news
  • Global issues
  • Sensationalism
  • Misinformation
  • Bias
  • Community
  • Public safety
  • Health advisories
  • Market trends
  • Traffic updates
  • Weather forecasts
  • Educate
  • Raise awareness
  • Opinion formation
  • Decision making
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