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Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people today buy ready made food rather than spending time cooking. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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Introduction
In recent decades, the public has preferred to buy ready-made
food
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 rather than spend
time
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 cooking, given that a significant number of
people
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 face a lack of
time
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 for
such
Linking Words
 a process and the absence of cooking skills.
Although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 trend has some advantages, the disadvantages are outweighed by the adverse effects.
Body paragraph 1
A shortage of
time
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 for daily cooking is one of the principal reasons for
this
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 change. Many
people
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 have heavy
wokloads
Correct your spelling
workloads
, and it can cause some difficulties to find enough
time
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 to cook. Another reason for buying shop-bought meals is that some
people
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 do not possess proper cooking skills and find
this
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 process
as
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apply
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a heavy burden.
For instance
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, children have trouble preparing dishes for themselves, and when they feel hungry, young
people
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 buy lunch.
Body paragraph 2
One of the principal advantages of ready-made dishes is the reduction of stress and problems regarding
food
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.
As a result
Linking Words
, family disputes concerning lunch will become less frequent. Shop-bought
food
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 can be cheaper, and it is
the
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apply
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another plus. Individuals can find commodities with discounts, which is a positive aspect for family budgeting.
However
Linking Words
, there are drawbacks that are too serious. One of them is the risk to digestive health.
Food
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 markets might sell not fresh goods, and even
food
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 can be expired there. Another drawback is the unsanitary conditions in the area where meals are prepared.
For example
Linking Words
, after eating a spoiled portion of
food
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 ,
people
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 consult doctors and spend rather more money on treating their stomach. On top of that,
this
Linking Words
 trend can undermine traditional family values
such
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 as preparing
food
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 together.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I strongly believe that the disadvantages of buying ready-made
food
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 are greater than the advantages
due to
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 its detrimental effects on both public health and family values.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You explain why people buy ready-made food, then say the bad sides are greater. Add a clearer look at why the good sides may matter, such as saving time for work, study, or child care.
task response
Make the main idea more exact. Ready-made food is not always cheap, old, or made in unclean places. Say that these risks can happen, rather than saying they happen in all shops.
task response
Use stronger and more real examples. The example about children buying lunch does not fully show a lack of cooking skill. You could write about a worker who gets home late and buys a meal to save time.
task response
Explain the link between each point and your final view. For example, show why health risks and less family time are more important than lower cost and less stress.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: reasons, good sides, bad sides, then a final view. Keep this plan, but make the change from good sides to bad sides smoother with a short signpost sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Give each main point its own clear paragraph or use clearer topic sentences. The second body paragraph has several ideas, so it feels crowded.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Words such as “however”, “for example”, and “as a result” are helpful, but make sure the next sentence clearly follows from them.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating “one of the principal” many times. Use simple changes such as “Another reason”, “A key benefit”, and “A major problem” to make the writing flow better.
task response
You give a direct answer to the full question. Your view is clear: the bad sides are greater than the good sides.
task response
You include several relevant ideas, such as lack of time, lack of cooking skill, health concerns, cost, and family life.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction tells the reader what the essay will discuss, and the conclusion clearly returns to your main view.
coherence and cohesion
You use paragraphs and some useful linking words to guide the reader through your ideas.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Convenience
  • Time-efficient
  • Ready-made meals
  • Nutritional value
  • Lifestyle demands
  • Work-life balance
  • Fast-paced lifestyle
  • Eco-conscious
  • Sustainable eating
  • Culinary diversity
  • Cultural assimilation
  • Health-conscious
  • Processed foods
  • Environmental footprint
  • Social interaction
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