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Writing Samples
Band 2

The number of college students who go to sporting events and various sporting events attended by college students in 2020.

2.0 / 9
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Introduction
The
chart
Use synonyms
 illustrates the comparison of college
students
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 who went to sporting events in football, basketball, volleyball, tennis, and badminton in 2020 , with figures measured in per cent for the pie and quantities for the table.
Body paragraph 1
Overall
Linking Words
, in the pie
chart
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, it can be clearly seen
from
Correct word choice
that
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 the number of
students
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 not going to sporting events accounted for
larger
Correct article usage
a larger
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 proportion compared with those going to sporting events.
While
Linking Words
 in the table, Football and tennis had higher
numbers
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 of
students
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 joining than the others.
Body paragraph 2
In terms of the pie
chart
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, the
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numbers
Check wording
number
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 of
students
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 not joining accounted for 80, which was higher than the
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students
Check wording
number of students
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 joining,
only at
Correct word order
at only
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 20.
Conclusion
Regarding the table
chart
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, football was the most popular choice among males.
While
Linking Words
,
Correct word choice
apply
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while
Linking Words
 tennis was more popular among
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
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. Basketball had the
Use synonyms
numbers
Check wording
number
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 of male and female
joining
Correct word choice
apply
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participants. The number of male participants in badminton was double that of female participants. Volleyball, the
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numbers
Check wording
number
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 of
female
Check wording
females
show examples
 was higher than that of male only one.

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task response
Give all key data from the table. State the number of men and women for each sport, not only which sport was more popular. Some points are not clear because the exact numbers are missing.
task response
Use the right units. The pie chart data should be written as percentages, for example 80% and 20%, not just 80 and 20.
task response
Make the main points more complete. Compare the highest and lowest figures, and include clear facts for football, basketball, volleyball, tennis, and badminton.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: introduction, overview, pie chart, then table. Keep this order, but make each body paragraph give more full details.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating words such as “while” in one sentence. Use simple links such as “In contrast”, “Also”, and “However” when needed.
coherence and cohesion
Write complete and clear sentences. For example, change “Volleyball, the numbers of female was higher than that of male only one” to “In volleyball, the number of female students was one higher than the number of male students.”
task response
You gave a clear overview of the pie chart and table, and you picked out football and tennis as key sports.
coherence and cohesion
You used separate paragraphs for the pie chart and the table, which helps the reader follow your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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