Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities.other however say that this would have little effect on public health and other majores are required.discuss both this view and give yourown opinion.
awareness can encourage individuals to be more active even at ruch working days and help them to understand the importance of
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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diet
,
Punctuation problem
. Furthermore
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furthermore
Linking Words
,
The
Fix capitalization
the
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Algerian government should implement strategic measures regarding food.
Conclusion
In the conclusion, providing and improving a huge
Use synonyms
sports
Check wording
number of sports
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facilities
on
Change preposition
in
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the country is
helpfull
Correct your spelling
helpful
and can improuve the public
health
Use synonyms
.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, the importance of diet and meals
mesurement
Correct your spelling
measurement
can be more
realitique
Correct your spelling
realistic
.
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task response
You discuss both views and give your own view, which is good. However, explain each view more fully. Say why sports places may help, and why food rules and health learning may help more.
task response
Your main idea is clear: sport places alone are not enough. Add clear support, such as low-cost food with much sugar, long work hours, or free health checks.
task response
Use the example about Algeria more carefully. Explain how it proves your point. At present, the link between money for sport groups and public health is not clear.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part shape: start, first view, second view, and end. Keep this shape, but make each paragraph focus on one main point.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words in a more natural way: 'On the one hand', 'However', 'For example', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion'. Do not put many link words in one long sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Make your ending match your own view. You say diet is more realistic, but the last part also says more sport places are helpful. State clearly that both help, but health learning and food action should come first.
coherence and cohesion
Write shorter, clearer sentences. For example: 'Many people do not use sports centres because they work long hours.' This is easier to follow than a long sentence with several ideas.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you discuss sports facilities, other actions, and your own view.
coherence and cohesion
You use clear paragraph breaks and helpful signs such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'.
task response
Your ideas about health awareness, healthy food, and busy work days are relevant to public health.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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