IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some argue that schools should prioritize life skills such as working in a team and solving problems instead of traditional academics. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
Many believe that
life
Use synonyms
skills
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 should be given
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
priority
instead
Linking Words
 of traditional academics
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 schools.
Although
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 it is important to teach children
team work
Correct your spelling
teamwork
 and the ability to solve problems, I believe that traditional subjects remain the
priorit
Replace the word
priority
 to be taught at school.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, teaching students about
life
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skills
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 through special
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
 can bring many advantages. By giving them tasks to
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
 by the end of summer
;
Punctuation problem
,
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 so that it does not interfere with their studies, like doing a community service.
Therefore
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, they might gain
skills
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 that will
definetly
Correct your spelling
definitely
 help them in their future career and
to
Wrong verb form
apply
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strengthen their CV to apply for universities.
For example
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, when
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 was
young
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young,
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 I used to play football
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although
Punctuation problem
, although
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 it was just
playing
Punctuation problem
playing,
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 I learned about
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 importance of
team work
Correct your spelling
teamwork
 and
rely
Wrong verb form
relying
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 on each other to
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
 a mutual goal.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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,
traditional
Correct article usage
the traditional
show examples
 curriculum at school will still be
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 most important to study. Because by studying
tthose
Correct your spelling
those
subjects
Punctuation problem
subjects,
show examples
 pupils will gain the
skills
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 needed to apply for higher education.
Firstly
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, maths are used in everyday
life
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like
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, like
show examples
 accounting.
Secondly
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, physics and chemistry are important too.
Finally
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,
secondary
Correct article usage
a secondary
show examples
 language will
help them
Correct word order
also help them
show examples
also
Linking Words
 in their future career.
Conclusion
In conclusion, teaching pupils
life
Use synonyms
skills
Use synonyms
 is important
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
 sure but still teaching them traditional academics is as important.

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task response
State your view more clearly in the first part. You say school subjects should come first, but the last part says both are as important. Keep one clear view from start to end.
task response
Develop each main idea more. Explain why school subjects should come first, and explain how life skills can be taught without taking too much class time.
task response
Your football example is useful, but link it more clearly to the question. Say how working with a team can help at work or in study later in life.
task response
Some points are too short, such as maths, physics, chemistry, and a second language. Give one clear reason or example for each group of subjects, rather than only listing them.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an ending. However, some ideas do not flow well. Make sure each sentence leads naturally to the next one.
coherence and cohesion
Do not use a full stop after a phrase that cannot stand alone. For example, join “Because by studying those subjects...” to the sentence before it, or make it a full sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. “Therefore” should show a clear result. In the first main part, the link between summer tasks and later study is not fully clear.
coherence and cohesion
Use one main idea in each paragraph. The second main part lists many subjects; group them under one point, such as “traditional subjects give students key knowledge for daily life and later study.”
coherence and cohesion
Check key words and spelling because they can make the flow harder to follow: “priority”, “teamwork”, “activities”, “achieve”, “definitely”, “importance”, “rely”, “those”, and “I”.
task response
You answer both sides of the question and give your own view.
task response
You use a real example about football to show how teamwork can be learned.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear basic shape: an opening, two main parts, and a closing.
coherence and cohesion
You use simple signposts such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “Firstly”, and “In conclusion” to guide the reader.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • life skills
  • traditional academic subjects
  • a balanced curriculum
  • practical knowledge
  • academic foundation
  • teamwork skills
  • problem-solving ability
  • shared responsibility
  • resolve conflicts
  • critical thinking
  • real-life situations
  • prepare students for employment
  • higher education
  • make informed decisions
  • group assignments
  • collaborative learning
  • career prospects
  • well-rounded education
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