In some countries, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this messages?
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In many countries,
and
teacherFix the agreement mistake
show examples
often tell children that they can achieve anything if they work hard
.
message has
clear benefits, it can
create problems.
essay will discuss both sides.
Body paragraph 1
On the
side,
can encourage children to work hard and never give up.When children believe that the effort leads to success, they are more willing to face challenges.For
, a child who
an exam may study harder next time.
Conclusion
, there are
disadvantages.
,
message is not always
.Some goals depend on talent, money and luck , not only hard work.If
childCorrect article usage
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failCorrect subject-verb agreement
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after trying their best, they may feel sad and belief themselves.
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You answer both parts of the question, but the essay is too short and it has no clear ending. Add a short final part that sums up both the good and bad sides.
Explain each main idea more. For the good side, say how this message can help a child keep going after a hard time. For the bad side, explain that some things, such as family money, health, or chance, can affect success.
Use a more full example. For example, a child may fail a test, study in a new way, ask for help, and do better later. Then explain why this shows the good side of the message.
Your ideas are in a clear order: start, good side, then bad side. Keep this plan, but give each main point its own full paragraph.
Use simple link words to show the next idea: “For example”, “As a result”, “On the other hand”, and “In conclusion”. Do not use “On the pon side”; write “On the one hand” or “For the good side”.
Make the last sentence clear. Instead of “they may feel sad and belief themselves”, write “they may feel sad and lose belief in themselves.”
You understand the two sides of the topic and give one useful example about a child who does not do well in an exam.
The opening tells the reader that you will discuss both sides, and the body moves from the good side to the bad side in a clear way.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.