IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones nowadays has unwanted effects on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
Nowadays
Punctuation problem
Nowadays,
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 young
people
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use
Use synonyms
 mobile phones and computers in
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 daily life.
However
Linking Words
, using the compautes and mobile
phone
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phones
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 will effect thier reading skills. In
this
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essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will address two views about reading skills and
its
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their
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 link to
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
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 of
computer
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computers
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 and mobile
phone
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phones
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 by yiung generation.
Body paragraph 1
To start with, mobile
ohone
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phones
 and computers are very helpful for
the
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apply
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young
people
Use synonyms
. There are many applications that they can
use
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 to enhance
thier
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their
 reading skills,
such
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 as books, read stories and so on.
In addition
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, they have mobile phones all the time
so
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, so
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any time
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apply
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they can
use
Use synonyms
it
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them
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 and read
it
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them at any time
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.
Body paragraph 2
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in
Capitalize the word
In
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 contrast, when young
people
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 mobile
phones
Punctuation problem
phones,
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 they will
use
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it
Fix the agreement mistake
them
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 for playing games, chatting with
freidns
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friends
 and social media. There are only
few
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a few
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people
Use synonyms
 who
use
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 it for reading.
Conclusion
To sum up
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, I think that computers and mobile
phone
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phones
show examples
 damage the reading skill for the young
people
Use synonyms
. They do not
use
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 it for good reasons. They
use
Use synonyms
 it to play and to have fun.

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task response
State your view clearly in the first part. You say you will show two views, but your final view is that phones and computers do harm. Make this clear from the start.
task response
Answer both reading and writing. Your essay talks only about reading, so an important part of the question is missing.
task response
Give more full reasons for each main point. For example, explain how short posts, games, and chat may stop young people from reading long books or writing full sentences.
task response
Use clear, real examples. You could mention a student who reads short social media posts instead of a book, or who uses short chat words in school work.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: introduction, one paragraph about good effects, one paragraph about bad effects, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph focus on one main idea. The first body paragraph is about help for reading, and the second is about harm, but both need more explanation and a clear last sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more clearly with words such as “For example”, “As a result”, “However”, and “Therefore”. Do not use linking words only at the start; show how one idea leads to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Keep key words the same. Use “mobile phones and computers” or “digital devices” instead of changing between many forms. Also, say “reading skills” and “writing skills” in the right places.
task response
You give a clear final view that young people often use devices for games, chat, and fun rather than reading.
task response
You include both a possible good side and a bad side of device use.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use basic linking words, such as “To start with”, “In addition”, “In contrast”, and “To sum up”, to guide the reader.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital literacy
  • Attention span
  • Autocorrect
  • Informal language
  • Internet slang
  • Short-form communication
  • Proofread
  • Traditional writing norms
  • Comprehensive reading
  • Visual media
  • Interactive learning
  • Engagement
  • Learning difficulties
  • Spellcheck
  • Complex sentence structures
  • Engaging platforms
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