IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

some people think government should invest more money in teachin science than other subjects in order for a country to develope and progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people think
,
Correct word choice
that
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 the more money the giverment spend in teachin science will
make
Verb problem
do
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 a good
deeds
Fix the agreement mistake
deed
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 for
Use synonyms
country
Correct article usage
the country
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 to
develope
Correct your spelling
develop
 and progress. Well, in my humble
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 could be true. Some of
subjects
Correct article usage
the subjects
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does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
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 not need to be
priority
Correct article usage
a priority
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. Science will be a good investment
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
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 for human
resource
Check wording
resources
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. With a valuable human,
will make the
Correct word order
the country will
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country
Use synonyms
 be
a
Correct article usage
apply
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great.
However
Linking Words
, one of the
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
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 that could be
prioritise
Wrong verb form
prioritised
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 is Law. With a great foundation of law, the
country
Use synonyms
 will be able to make
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
strong roots. The strongest roots
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 have a great opportunity to make the
country
Use synonyms
 become superior.
At the end
Linking Words
, science is more
rialeble
Correct your spelling
realistic
 for now on.

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task response
State your view more clearly in the first part. Say if you agree fully, partly agree, or disagree. Your main view seems to be that science is important, but law is also important. Explain this choice in a clear way.
task response
Develop each main point. For science, explain how more science study can help with new work, health, farming, or new tools. For law, explain how good law can help keep people and business safe.
task response
Add real or possible examples. For example, more money for science can help train doctors and make clean energy. A strong law system can help stop crime and make fair rules.
task response
Answer the full question about money for science more than other subjects. Compare science with other subjects and explain why science should or should not get more money.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: introduction, one body part about science, one body part about law or other subjects, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make one clear main idea in each body part. Do not move from science to law too quickly. Start the law part with a link such as: “However, other subjects are also needed.”
coherence and cohesion
Use clear links between ideas, such as “First,” “For example,” “However,” “As a result,” and “In conclusion.”
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to understand. Keep sentences short and direct. For example, write: “Science is a good investment because it helps a country create new ideas and jobs.”
task response
You give a clear main idea that science can help a country grow through better people and skills.
task response
You also try to show that law is important for a country, so you are thinking about both sides of the issue.
coherence and cohesion
Your writing has a beginning, a point about science, a point about law, and a short ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use words such as “However” and “At the end” to show a change of idea and an ending.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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