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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some believe secondary students should learn International news as a subject at school, while others think it's a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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Introduction
There is an ongoing debate about whether international
news
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 should be taught as a subject in secondary schools.
While
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 some agree that it broadens
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students
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students'
show examples
 understanding of the world, others consider that it is quite unnecessary.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives before explaining why I believe international
news
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 has educational value when taught selectively.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, opponents argue that school curricula are already overloaded with crucial subjects.
Students
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 need to develop fundamental skills in areas
,
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apply
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such
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 as mathematics, science and languages, which directly contribute to their academic and professional development.
Consequently
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, allocating several lessons to international
news
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 could reduce the time available for these core disciplines.
For example
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, a secondary school with limited teaching hours might have to sacrifice additional lessons in order to introduce a separate current affairs course.
Moreover
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, young
students
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 may struggle to differentiate reliable information
with
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from
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 biased reports, particularly when information is obtained from social media.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, exposure to international
news
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 can provide
students
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 with knowledge that conventional textbooks cannot always offer. By following global
events
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events,
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 teenagers
enable
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are able
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 to
realize
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realise
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 the political, economic and environmental issues, and more importantly, to recognise how events in one country can affect people anywhere.
For example
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, learning about international climate agreements could help
students
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 understand not only environmental problems, but
also
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 the economic and political cooperation required to address them.
Furthermore
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, discussing contrasting
news
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 reports can develop critical-thinking, encouraging
students
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 to question sources rather than accepting information uncritically.
In
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As
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 a result, the role of international
news
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at
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in
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 schools is undeniable.
Body paragraph 3
In my view, international
news
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 should be incorporated into secondary education, but it should not necessarily become a full, independent subject.
Conclusion
To conclude
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,
although
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 concerns about limited classroom time are justified, carefully selected international
news
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 can equip youngsters with valuable knowledge and critical thinking skills that extend well beyond school.

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task response
You discuss both sides and give your own view clearly. To make your view stronger, say more about how the news could be taught, such as one short class each week or as part of social studies.
task response
Your main ideas are clear, but some points need more full support. For example, explain more clearly why students may find it hard to tell true news from one-sided news.
task response
Use examples with a little more detail. Your climate example is good, but you could show what students may learn or do after reading about it.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: first one side, then the other side, then your view and a final summary. Keep this shape.
coherence and cohesion
Some links between ideas need smoother wording. For example, change "In a result" to "As a result". Also, make sure each sentence has a clear subject and verb.
coherence and cohesion
A few sentences are hard to follow because of grammar. For example, write "By following global events, teenagers can learn about political, economic, and environmental issues."
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. Words such as "Moreover", "Furthermore", and "Consequently" work well, but do not use them only to join long sentences. Make each point clear first.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you explain why some people see the topic as a waste of time, why others support it, and you give your own view.
task response
Your opinion is balanced and clear: international news has value, but it does not have to be a separate full subject.
coherence and cohesion
The opening tells the reader what the essay will do, and the final paragraph gives a clear summary of your main view.
coherence and cohesion
Each main paragraph has one clear focus, and your examples fit the ideas in the paragraph.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • international
  • news
  • students
  • school
  • understand
  • world
  • knowledge
  • culture
  • event
  • people
  • global
  • society
  • critical
  • thinking
  • skills
  • analyze
  • information
  • viewpoints
  • informed
  • opinion
  • connected
  • communities
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • problems
  • climate
  • change
  • poverty
  • wars
  • subjects
  • overwhelm
  • reduce
  • focus
  • core
  • math
  • science
  • interesting
  • relevant
  • daily
  • lives
  • careers
  • appealing
  • parents
  • teach
  • children
  • curriculum
  • learn
  • pace
  • interest
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