IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. discuss both these views and give yourown opinion.

4.5 / 9
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Introduction
Perfessionals
Correct your spelling
Professionals
 should
work
Use synonyms
 in their own
country
Use synonyms
 or
aboard
Use the right word
abroad
show examples
 has become a debatable issue in recent times.
some
Capitalize the word
Some
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 like
doctotrs
Correct your spelling
doctors
,engineers
etc
Punctuation problem
, etc.
show examples
 ought to do
work
Use synonyms
 in that counry from which they did training,
while
Linking Words
 the opponets estimates that these
perfesionals
Correct your spelling
professionals
 should be free to
choice
Replace the word
choose
 their
work
Use synonyms
country
Use synonyms
.As per my viewpoint ,
i beleive
Correct your spelling
I believe
 they should
work
Use synonyms
 wherever they want to do.
Body paragraph 1
On the
on
Use the right word
one
show examples
 hand,there are many reasons to do
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
 in their own
country
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Firstly
Punctuation problem
Firstly,
show examples
 they devote their
country
Use synonyms
provide
Change preposition
to provide
show examples
 them professional education by the most talented and
perfessional
Correct your spelling
professional
 teachers
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 for
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 the government has to invest plenty of money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 professors and the
infrastructures
Check wording
infrastructure
show examples
 of the university or colleges.Even some
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 students studied their entire education on
scholships
Correct your spelling
scholarships
 which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 provided by the regime of that
country
Use synonyms
, and when it comes to
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
 back to the development of that
Use synonyms
country
Punctuation problem
country,
show examples
 they should come forward and serve their own
people
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who are in
the favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of working in another
country
Use synonyms
have
Correct word order
also have
show examples
also
Linking Words
 some valid reasons.First and foremost is unemployment ,
their
Use the right word
there
show examples
 are so many countries
which has
Correct subject-verb agreement
that
show examples
 lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
employment and
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
 hard for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students to get jibs their so
as
Punctuation problem
; as
show examples
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
result
Punctuation problem
result,
show examples
 they like to
work
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
abroad.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they have more opportunities for
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 workplace ,high salaries
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
easy
Correct article usage
an easy
show examples
 way to get promoted,which is sometimes not easy in their own
country
Use synonyms
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
 of high competition.
For example
Linking Words
 ,
Use synonyms
country
Check wording
countries
show examples
 like
india
Capitalize the proper name
India
show examples
 have more profesionals but they have less chance to get a stable
careers
Fix the agreement mistake
career
show examples
.
Conclusion
having
Capitalize the word
Having
show examples
 discussed
this
Linking Words
 essay at length,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 would like
conclude
Verb problem
to conclude
show examples
 that
although
Linking Words
 a
country
Use synonyms
spend
Correct subject-verb agreement
spends
show examples
 a lot on their
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
show examples
,which may not be suitable for their futures,
therfore
Correct your spelling
therefore
 they must be free to
work
Use synonyms
according to
Linking Words
 their own choice
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 will help to develop their own
country
Use synonyms
.

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task response
You discuss both views and give your own view. To make your answer stronger, explain each main point more fully. For example, say why public money should lead to work at home, and why work in a new country can help both the worker and the home country.
task response
Your view is clear at the start, but the last line is not fully clear. You say people should be free to go, then say this will help their own country. Explain how this can happen, such as by sending money home, gaining new skills, or coming back later.
task response
Use a more real and clear example. The India example needs more detail: name the type of work, the lack of jobs, and the result for doctors or engineers.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part plan: start, one view, the other view, and end. Keep this plan, but make the first line of each body part state the main idea in a clear way.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Write “On the one hand” and “On the other hand.” Do not join too many ideas in one long sentence. Use full stops to make your meaning easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same key words where possible. For example, use “professionals”, “their home country”, and “another country”. Avoid changing to unclear words such as “their”, “that country”, or “regime” when the reader may not know who you mean.
coherence and cohesion
Your final part should sum up your view in a direct way. Do not add a new unclear point there. A clear end could say that professionals should be free to choose, but governments can ask them to work at home for a short time after free study.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you show reasons for working in the country of training, reasons for moving, and your own view.
task response
The point about free study and public money is useful and fits the first view well.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to see as separate parts, and the two sides are placed in separate body paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
You use some helpful linking phrases, such as “Firstly”, “Moreover”, and “For example”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • mandatory service
  • skill shortages
  • societal welfare
  • exchange of knowledge
  • global advancements
  • diverse experiences
  • career development prospects
  • personal satisfaction
  • feeling trapped
  • productivity
  • innovation
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