Some school leavers choose to travel or work for a year before going to university. What might be the reason for this? What are the disadvantages of this practice? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

6.5 / 9
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
In the contemporary world, education in schools and universities is essential and one of the basic human needs. Some
school
Use synonyms
graduates
Use synonyms
prefer to take a gap
year
Use synonyms
to travel or work before studying in university. In
this
Linking Words
essay, an attempt will be made to examine the reasons and the disadvantages.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
Linking Words
with, some academic
graduates
Use synonyms
tend to explore their personal interests by travelling for a long time and being alone, which helps them better hear their inner voice without any distractions.
For example
Linking Words
, being alone in the middle of the trees and natural environment helps
people
Use synonyms
to think clearly about their future.
Moreover
Linking Words
, gaining real-world experience requires a practical application,
such
Linking Words
as travelling or working for a
while
Linking Words
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there are some
school
Use synonyms
graduates
Use synonyms
who do not have enough money to be paid for a university scholarship, so they work to earn enough money for the university application.
Body paragraph 2
Regarding demerits, some students who decide to take a break after high
school
Use synonyms
do not have a proper plan that suits them.
As a result
Linking Words
, they feel confused and lost after a
while
Linking Words
.
For instance
Linking Words
, young
people
Use synonyms
who work or travel for a
year
Use synonyms
before being undergraduates tend to lose their way in the middle of the
year
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
is because one
year
Use synonyms
is a long time to take for young
people
Use synonyms
, they have to commited with an organised program in order to help them develop their skills
instead
Linking Words
of taking a random one-
year
Use synonyms
break.
Conclusion
In conclusion, travelling and working help
school
Use synonyms
graduates
Use synonyms
to find their interests and skills.
However
Linking Words
, these practices may distract some
people
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
their long time and the lack of experience in some younger
people
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
You answer both parts of the task: why some students take a year away and what the bad sides can be. To improve, explain each main reason more fully. For example, say how travel can help a young person choose a course, or how work can help pay for fees and living costs.
task response
Some ideas are too general or not fully clear. “Hear their inner voice” and “lose their way” are not direct or strong points. Use clear ideas such as learning work skills, saving money, gaining confidence, losing study habits, or not going back to study.
task response
Your examples fit the topic, but they are quite general. Add one clear, realistic example. For instance, a student may work in a shop for a year, save money, and then choose business because of that work.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear shape: an opening, reasons, bad sides, and an ending. Keep this plan, but make each body paragraph start with one clear main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use links more carefully. “Moreover” and “Furthermore” are used for new points, but the ideas do not always build in a smooth way. Try simple links such as “Another reason is…”, “However…”, and “As a result…”.
coherence and cohesion
Several sentences are hard to follow because they are too long or joined with a comma. Break them into shorter sentences. For example, after “This is because one year is a long time…”, start a new sentence with “Students need a clear plan…”.
coherence and cohesion
Make the last paragraph more exact. It should restate the main reasons and the main problems in clear words, rather than say that travel and work may “distract” people.
task response
You cover both the reasons and the disadvantages, so the reader can see that you have answered the full question.
task response
The point about working to save money for university is relevant and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Your use of separate paragraphs makes the essay easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
The opening tells the reader what the essay will discuss, and the ending gives a short summary.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • school leavers
  • real-world experience
  • academic environment
  • personal interests
  • future studies
  • essential life skills
  • independence
  • time management
  • adaptability
  • learn new languages
  • diverse cultures
  • global awareness
  • financial benefits
  • earning money
  • student loans
  • family support
  • emotional and mental health benefits
  • academic pressures
  • burnout
  • increasing motivation
  • networking opportunities
  • personal growth
  • maturity
  • future career prospects
What to do next:
Look at other essays: