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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that history is not important, while others believe that it is important to learn about the past. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

6.5 / 9
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Introduction
People
Use synonyms
 have different opinions about whether
history
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 is still valuable or not. There are several reasons why
history
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 is important , and
this
Linking Words
 can help to build a better future for the next generation.In my opinion, valuable information is provided by
history
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, which can be used to make better decisions and help
people
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 remain connected to their roots.
Body paragraph 1
One major reason why
people
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 argue that learning
history
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 has reduced value in recent
times
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 is
due to
Linking Words
 the technological world. In recent
times
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, work, communication and trade have increasingly moved online, and
this
Linking Words
 has significantly changed the way
people
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 live and interact with each other. These reasons prove that individuals are less likely to give importance to
history
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,
while
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 they are more interested in advanced technology.
Body paragraph 2
It is truly believed that
history
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 offers various patterns of the past, which can be used to shape the present. In the past, several accomplishments, developments and conflicts demonstrate how the communities build and run, including the importance of different cultures and traditions. If learners read that information, they can easily understand the causes of mistakes in the past and can be very careful not to repeat them today.
This
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 can
further
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 help students to make more thoughtful decisions.
Body paragraph 3
In my view, learning
history
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 is highly important because it provides an understanding of the foundations of human society. When
people
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 are awared about the
history
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, they can stay connected to their tradition and culture effectively, which are gradually fading away in modern
times
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. Having a strong understanding of
history
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 allows
people
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 to develop a sense of identity , and they can feel more connected to their community, which can
also
Linking Words
 be passed to the next generations.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
people
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 present different opinions regarding the value of
history
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 in recent
times
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. It is true that modern technology has made life easier;
however
Linking Words
,
people
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 should not overlook the importance of the past.

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task response
You discuss both sides and give your own view. However, the first side is not fully clear. Explain more why new technology may make some people think history is less useful. For example, they may feel that school time should focus on skills for work today.
task response
Your main ideas are clear, but some need more support. Give one real or simple example of a past war, health problem, or money problem. Then show how people can learn from it today.
task response
Keep your view clear from the start to the end. You say history helps people make better choices and stay close to their culture. These are good points, so link them more directly to your final answer.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: opening, one view, the other view, your view, and ending. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Make the link between ideas more exact. In the first main paragraph, the move from online life to less interest in history is too fast. Add a sentence that explains this link.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Words such as 'however', 'for example', 'as a result', and 'on the other hand' can show how each idea is connected. Do not use the same link too often.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are long and have many ideas. Split them into two shorter sentences when needed. This will make your meaning easier to see.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you show both views and state your own opinion.
task response
Your points about learning from past mistakes, culture, and identity are relevant and useful.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main purpose, and the conclusion gives a clear final message.
coherence and cohesion
The opening tells the reader what your main opinion will be.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • insights
  • progression
  • values
  • beliefs
  • heritage
  • identity
  • applicable
  • biased
  • subjective
  • practical
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