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Band 6.5

the chart below given information about Southland's main exports in 2000, 20..., and future projections for 2025.

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the chart below given information about Southland's main exports in 2000, 20..., and future projections for 2025.
The given bar graph shows Southland's primary exports, including international tourism, dairy
products
Use synonyms
, and meat
products
Use synonyms
, in 2000, 20
..
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
, and
future
Use synonyms
 predictions for 2025. Units are measured in billions.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
date
Use the right word
data
show examples
 illustrate that international tourism is the main export in Southland in all given past and
future
Use synonyms
 periods,
while
Linking Words
 meat
products
Use synonyms
 are
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
 popular. Interestingly, dairy porducts are reached
at
Correct determiner usage
their
show examples
 highest figure in 20.. When exploring the data
international
Punctuation problem
, international
show examples
 tourism accounted for just above $8
billion
Use synonyms
 in 2000, followed by around 8.9
billion
Use synonyms
 in 20
..
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
, and
finally
Linking Words
 in
future
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
 figure will reach
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
its peak level
nearly
Change preposition
of nearly
show examples
 10
billion
Use synonyms
. With regards to the dairy
products
Use synonyms
figures
Punctuation problem
, figures
show examples
 rose from around 7
billion
Use synonyms
 to approximately 10
million
Use the right word
billion
show examples
 across 2000-20
..
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
, and in
Use synonyms
future
Add a comma
future,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 figure will decrease by about 5
billion
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, meat
products
Use synonyms
 are less common in all given periods,
remained
Wrong verb form
remaining
show examples
 just under 6
billion
Use synonyms
 in all past and projected
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
show examples
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words products, future, billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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