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Writing Samples
Band 5

Essay topics: Some people think that it is important for children to learn lessons outside the classroom by visiting public buildings. In what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
It is indubitable that learning methods have
direct
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a direct
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 impact on
students
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' learning potential. Many people claim that practical techniques
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such
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, such
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 as visiting outer spaces, are more effective than
classroom's
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the classroom's
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theoritical
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theoretical
 knowledge. I agree with
this
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 approach because they can retain that
informaytion
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information
 for a longer period of time.
Body paragraph 1
The primary argument to justify my stance is long lasting impression of practical learning.
Although
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,
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apply
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 literature is essential for basic knowledge of the topic, in-person lessons are far more engaging that keeps student's mind attentive throughout the
learning-session
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learning session
. Field trips related to topics
such
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 as history, geography and biology
,
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apply
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 help
students
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 to develop their interest in respective subjects.
For example
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, the knowledge of heritage
site
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sites
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 is perfectly acquired during
tour
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a tour
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 to museums and historical monuments.
Body paragraph 2
Additionally
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, learning in public spaces
boost
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boosts
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 social and
communicational
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communication
 skills in
childrens
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children
.
While
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 exploring different sectors, pupils can learn how to behave appropriately with elders, understand their
responsiblities
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responsibilities
 and eventually widen their horizon about different aspects of life. To
illutrates
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illustrate
,
students
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 can learn
rules
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the rules
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 and
regulation
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regulations
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 of traffic and sanitation, learn to contribute
for
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to
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 society's benefits.
Body paragraph 3
However
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, visual tours cannot replace classroom education completely. They can just work as
supportive
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a supportive
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complementry
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complementary
 method to
enhnace
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enhance
 learning. These types of trips should be organised based on
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students interest
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students' interests
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, and schools should be responsible
to provide
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for providing
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 safe and affordable
for
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trips for
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 all
students
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.
Conclusion
In
conclusions
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conclusion
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,
visuals
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visual
 learning is a great
initative
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initiative
 to make lessons memorable to
childrens
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children
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.
Moreover
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, children
also
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 develop social skills
such
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 as responsible behaviour, co-operation and the
improtance
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importance
 of laws and regulations in
working
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a working
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 society.

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task response
Answer the question more directly in the first paragraph. Say clearly that you agree that visits to public buildings are important, but they should support classroom study, not take its place.
task response
Use examples that match public buildings. Museums, libraries, courts, town halls, and science centres fit the topic better than traffic and sanitation.
task response
Explain each main idea in more detail. For example, show how a museum visit helps a child understand history better than only reading a book.
task response
Your last body paragraph gives a useful limit, but develop it. Explain why schools need safe, low-cost trips and why all children should be able to join.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: introduction, two main ideas, a limit, and a conclusion. Keep this plan, but make the link between each paragraph clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words with care: 'First', 'Also', 'However', and 'In conclusion'. Do not start a sentence with 'Although' unless you finish the contrast in the same sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. In the second body paragraph, social skills, good behaviour, traffic rules, and sanitation are many ideas. Choose one or two and explain them well.
coherence and cohesion
Make the conclusion shorter and more exact. Restate your view and the two main reasons without adding new points.
language support
Check word forms and spelling: 'extent', 'theoretical', 'information', 'children', 'illustrate', 'regulations', 'complementary', 'enhance', 'initiative', and 'importance'.
language support
Use natural phrases such as 'outside the classroom', 'classroom learning', 'a visit to a museum', and 'safe and affordable trips for all students'.
task response
You give a clear view and keep it through the essay: visits can make learning more memorable, but they cannot fully replace classroom study.
task response
Your points about stronger memory and social skills are relevant and useful for the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has clear paragraphs, and the use of 'Additionally' and 'However' helps the reader follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion returns to your main view and brings the essay to a clear end.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • experiential learning
  • hands-on experience
  • real-life context
  • bring a subject to life
  • retain information
  • spark curiosity
  • public institutions
  • cultural heritage
  • educational visit
  • curriculum-related trip
  • practical knowledge
  • civic awareness
  • social interaction
  • responsible behaviour
  • supervised outing
  • safety concerns
  • travel expenses
  • equal access
  • complement classroom learning
  • virtual tour
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