Some people think the increasing business and cultural contact between countries bring many positive effects. Other say it causes the loss of national identities. Discuss both side and give your opinion.

4.5 / 9

Band scoreView breakdown ↓

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →

Introduction

One of the most debated issues in recent years is whether international

businesses

Use synonyms

and cultural contact across different countries are beneficial for their own nation.

While

Linking Words

some people argue that it can cause confusion and conflict between a national culture and global trends, I believe that international connections and multinational corporations can help a country promote economic prosperity globally.

Body paragraph 1

Indeed, certain critics argue that international

business

Use synonyms

and contact might be disadvantageous to local

business

Use synonyms

and society.

This

Linking Words

is mainly because small local

Use synonyms

business

Check wording

businesses

show examples

may

complete

Verb problem

compete

show examples

with large international corporations, which can negatively impact

Change preposition

apply

show examples

local revenue and may ultimately

dependent

Wrong verb form

depend

show examples

on foreign

businesses

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, in China, a large number of foreign companies operate in the domestic market, potentially causing local

Use synonyms

business

Check wording

businesses

show examples

to lose their market shares to multinational corporations.

Thus

Linking Words

such

Linking Words

a trend can have a detrimental influence on local markets and small

businesses

Use synonyms

if governments

should

Verb problem

apply

show examples

take concrete

measure

Check wording

measures

show examples

to protect them.

Body paragraph 2

Although

Linking Words

I acknowledge the aforementioned argument, I am of the opinion that global

connection

Check wording

connections

show examples

and

businesses

Use synonyms

can have a greater impact on

Linking Words

overall

Correct article usage

the overall

show examples

national economy. One of the primary reasons is that accepting global

businesses

Use synonyms

in local

Replace the word

locally

can provide job opportunities, which can contribute to

Correct article usage

show examples

decrease

unemployment

Change preposition

in unemployment

show examples

This

Linking Words

means that many local people can secure well-paid jobs and raise household income, allowing them to spend more money.

Such

Linking Words

a positive cycle can promote economic prosperity.

Conclusion

Overall

Linking Words

while

Linking Words

there are several

disadvantage

Fix the agreement mistake

disadvantages

show examples

such

Linking Words

possibility

Correct article usage

the possibility

show examples

of heavy

relience

Correct your spelling

reliance

on global companies and undermining small local

businesses

Use synonyms

, I hold that international connections still can offer substantial

opportunties

Correct your spelling

opportunities

to national markets and an increase in employment

gggiii9967

Sep 26, 2026

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

You discuss both views, but the first view is mostly about harm to local firms. The question also asks about loss of national identity. Add clear ideas about how global culture may change local food, language, clothes, or customs.

task response

Make your own view clearer: say why the good points are more important than the loss of local culture, and explain how a country can keep its own culture at the same time.

task response

Use a more direct example for culture. For example, young people may copy foreign films and brands, but schools and public events can help keep local language and customs alive.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending. Keep this shape, but make each body part match one side of the question more closely.

coherence and cohesion

Use simple link words to show the change between ideas: “On the one hand”, “For example”, “As a result”, and “On the other hand”. This will make the order of your ideas easier to follow.

coherence and cohesion

Some sentences are hard to follow because of word form and grammar errors. For example, write “small local businesses may compete with large firms” and “this may lead to dependence on foreign businesses.”

coherence and cohesion

In the last paragraph, restate both sides in a balanced way. Do not only repeat the business point; also mention national culture and identity.

task response

You give a clear personal view that global business can create jobs and help the economy.

task response

The example about foreign firms in China is linked to your point about local firms losing sales.

coherence and cohesion

The essay is easy to see as an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

You use some helpful links between ideas, such as “For example”, “Although”, and “Overall”.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Your local newspaper had an advertisement asking people to help with environmental projects in your area. Write a letter to the project manager to offer your help. Describe a local environmental issue Explain how you can help Suggest how to avoid the problem in future
I am writing this letter in response to an advertisement campaign I saw in a local newspaper. It mentioned a need for people's assistance to improve environmental projects in the area. This ad caught my attention, as I was looking for some answers to a problem that has been happening in our neighbourhood.
7
band
Studying with a group of students in a classroom is more beneficial than learning online at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In recent years, online education has gained popularity as an alternative to traditional classroom learning. However, many believe that studying in a physical classroom with a group of students is more beneficial than learning alone at home. While both methods have their advantages, I strongly agree that classroom learning is generally more effective for students’ academic and personal development.
7
band
Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory in high school programmes (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). Do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that volunteering should be made part of the school curriculum. This essay agrees with that suggestion completely because it help pupils develop soft skills and helps them gain much-needed work experience.
7
band
In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. what are the reasons for this?
Nowadays, in some countries, society is getting more curious about their accommodation's history. This essay will analyze the reasons for this interest as well as the ways that people can look for the previous stories of their mansion.
7
band
Some people think it is a better way to leave their own country to improve their work and living opportunities, while others think that staying in their own country is better choice. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In modern society, whereas most individuals prefer living, working or studying abroad, others opt to stay in their own countries. In my opinion, it would be better to remain in the motherland and contribute to the economy of the country.

Some people think the increasing business and cultural contact between countries bring many positive effects. Other say it causes the loss of national identities. Discuss both side and give your opinion.

Your local newspaper had an advertisement asking people to help with environmental projects in your area. Write a letter to the project manager to offer your help. Describe a local environmental issue Explain how you can help Suggest how to avoid the problem in future

Studying with a group of students in a classroom is more beneficial than learning online at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory in high school programmes (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. what are the reasons for this?

Some people think it is a better way to leave their own country to improve their work and living opportunities, while others think that staying in their own country is better choice. Discuss both views and give your opinion.