In many countries, young people are encouraged to take a gap year between finishing high school and starting university to work or travel. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Introduction
Nowadays, the youth are motivated to take a year off to travel around the world or enter the workplace before going to university. I firmly believe that these options have a positive impact on the young generation.
Body paragraph 1
The young generation is motivated to take a gap year to work in distinct places. Trying new workplaces at a young age helps to clarify which degree is the most appropriate. Without gaining any working experience , the students may not know their abilities, leading to future confusion in a career path.
For instance
Linking Words
, the student who had worked as a shop assistant gained knowledge of selling goods by communicating with customers
,
Punctuation problem
;
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as a result
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, he entered a business subject at an educational institution.
Body paragraph 2
Other young individuals are inspired to spend a year travelling. Gaining experience through meeting new inhabitants, researching new cultures and spots aids in understanding which
qualification
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qualifications
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students would like to study. A
long term
Correct your spelling
long-term
journey is required to be well-planned, to avoid wasting time and resources.
For example
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, students who have explored the world are more likely to choose a tourism field.
However
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, some families can't afford to pay for a one-year journey, so some individuals don't consider
this
Linking Words
possibility at all.
This
Linking Words
means a travel field could be less commonly chosen.
Conclusion
In conclusion, it is often the case that parents inspire their kids to postpone academic admission to work or to travel. I am in favour of these
moderm
Correct your spelling
modern
ideas, which
helps
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help
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to get working and travelling experiences.

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task response
Your view is clear: you agree that a year away can help young people. To make your answer stronger, explain more fully why work and travel help before university. You could also briefly say that a gap year needs a clear plan, so it does not become lost time.
task response
Your work example is useful, but make it more exact. Explain how the shop job helped the student choose business at university. The travel example should also show more clearly how seeing new places can lead to a study choice.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an ending. Keep one main idea in each body part: work in the first and travel in the second.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. "For instance" and "However" are helpful, but some links are not natural. Instead of "as a result, he entered a business subject", write "As a result, he chose to study business."
coherence and cohesion
The last part of the travel paragraph moves away from your main point. The idea about family money is relevant, but explain its link: travel may not be possible for all young people, so work can be a better choice for some.
coherence and cohesion
Make your ending more direct. Say again that you agree, then give the two main reasons: young people can learn about work and learn about the world before they choose a course.
task response
You answer the question directly and give a clear opinion from the first paragraph.
task response
You use two relevant main ideas: work can help with a future job choice, and travel can help young people learn about other people and places.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because it has an introduction, one paragraph about work, one about travel, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You include examples to support both main ideas, which helps the reader understand your point.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
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