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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

News stories on TV and in newspapers are very often accompanied by pictures. Some people say that these pictures are more effective than words. Whats your opinion about it?

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Introduction
The issue of the
news
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stories
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 on
TV
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 and in
newspapers
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 that are accompanied by
pictures
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 sparked considerable debate in recent years.Some
people
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 believe that the
pictures
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 are more effective than
words
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,
while
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 others argue that the
words
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 are more effective.
This
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 essay will examine both perspectives before offering my own opinion.
Although
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 both arguments have their merits,I firmly believe that the
news
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stories
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 on
TV
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 and in
newspapers
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are
Verb problem
,
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 accompanied by
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pictures
Punctuation problem
pictures,
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 are more effective.
Body paragraph 1
On one hand,those who advocate that the
news
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stories
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 on
TV
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 and in
newspapers
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 are accompanied
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
pictures
Use synonyms
 are more effective argue that many
people
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 do not believe the
news
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 until they see the
pictures
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 because many
people
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 write wrong
news
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 .
For example
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, if a young boy write an wrong
new
Check wording
news
show examples
 because he thinks
its
Correct pronoun usage
it's
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 a funny thing,many
people
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 might believe his
news
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 .
In addition
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,the
pictures
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 can help old
people
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 .
For instance
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,if an old woman
watch
Correct subject-verb agreement
watches
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 the
news
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 ,but she can not read,the
pictures
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 on the
news
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 can help her to know the
news
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.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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,many hold the belief that the
news
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stories
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 on
TV
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 and in
newspapers
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 are accompanied
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
words
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more
Correct word choice
that more
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effective
Replace the word
effectively
 emphasise that many
people
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 are influenced
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
words
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 because
it is
Fix the agreement mistake
they are
show examples
 more emotional.
For example
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,if a new story
about
Verb problem
is about
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 a sad accident,the new story will be effective if there are strong
words
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 that
descraibe
Correct your spelling
describe
 the accident,which a lot of
people
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 will support the family who had an accident.
Conclusion
To sum up
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,
while
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 there are valid arguments on both sides,I firmly believe that the
pictures
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 in the
news
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stories
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 are more effective.The reasons
above outlined
Correct word order
outlined above
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 clearly demonstrate that the
pictures
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 can assist many old
people
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 who can not read ,and a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 do not believe the
news
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 until they see the
pictures
Use synonyms
.

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Task response
Give your view more clearly in the first part. Say that pictures are more useful because they show proof and help people who cannot read well.
Task response
Develop each main point further. Explain how a picture can show that an event is real, and why words alone may not do this.
Task response
Use more realistic examples. The example about a boy writing false news is not very clear. You could write about a photo of a flood, a fire, or a road crash.
Task response
The point about old people is useful, but do not say all old people cannot read. Say that pictures can help people with weak reading skills or people who do not know the language.
Coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part shape: introduction, one side, the other side, and conclusion. Keep this plan.
Coherence and cohesion
Make the topic sentences shorter and clearer. For example: “Supporters of pictures say that they make news more believable.”
Coherence and cohesion
Do not repeat the long phrase “news stories on TV and in newspapers are accompanied by pictures.” Use shorter words such as “news pictures”, “images”, or “photos” after the first use.
Coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. “For example” is used well, but add links such as “This is because”, “As a result”, and “However” to show the reason and result more clearly.
Coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence is complete and easy to follow. For example, write “A news story about a sad accident can be more moving when it uses strong words to describe what happened.”
Task response
You answer both views and clearly state your own opinion.
Task response
You give reasons for pictures, including proof and help for people who find reading hard.
Coherence and cohesion
The introduction tells the reader what the essay will discuss.
Coherence and cohesion
The conclusion repeats your main view and returns to your main reasons.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • convey
  • emotions
  • capture
  • attention
  • evoke
  • impact
  • context
  • detailed information
  • journalism
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