it was predicted that people living in the twenty-first century would have more free time than ever before because of improvement in technology. To what extent has this prediction come true?

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Introduction
It is widely
recognized
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recognised
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that technology was expected to give modern people more free
time
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.
This
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issue has generated significant discussion regarding how smart devices save our
time
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and how the internet actually keeps us busy.
This
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essay will examine both aspects in detail to provide an objective analysis of the situation.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
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with, there is a compelling argument concerning the way modern
machines
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finish our daily tasks quickly. The primary factor behind
this
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is that people use advanced computers and home appliances to do hard work in minutes
instead
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of hours.
As a result
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, they get extra hours to relax or spend with family. A clear illustration of
this
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can be seen in the use of household
machines
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like washing
machines
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and dishwashers, which
highlights
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the practical impact of
this
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situation.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, another crucial factor to consider is how technology actually takes away our personal
time
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.
This
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can be addressed
due to
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the fact that people are always connected to the internet and bring their work home with them.
Consequently
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, many individuals feel stressed and busy all day.
For instance
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, recent studies in Technology demonstrate that office workers spend most of their evenings replying to work emails on their mobile phones
instead
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of resting.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
while
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modern
machines
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have made our daily chores much faster, it is equally important to address the problem of being online and working all the
time
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. Ultimately, effective strategies should be implemented to manage
this
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ongoing situation.

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task response
Give a clear answer in the first part: say if the idea has come true fully, partly, or not much. Your essay shows both sides, but your own view is not clear enough.
task response
Develop each main idea more. Explain why home tools save time, and why work messages and phone use can take that saved time away.
task response
Use a more real and clear example. “Recent studies” is too wide without a name, place, or result. You could give a simple example of a worker who checks work emails at night.
coherence and cohesion
Your four-part plan is easy to follow: opening, one side, the other side, and ending. Keep this clear order.
coherence and cohesion
Make the first lines of the two body parts more direct. For example, say “Technology saves time at home” and “Technology also fills free time with work and online use.”
coherence and cohesion
Some link words are used well, but a few are not natural. “This can be addressed due to the fact” is not clear here. Use simple links such as “This happens because” or “As a result.”
coherence and cohesion
Make the ending give your final answer, not only say that action is needed. State clearly how far the old idea has become true.
task response
You discuss both ways technology affects free time: it can save time at home, but it can also keep people busy.
task response
The examples of washing machines, dishwashers, work emails, and mobile phones are on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Each body part has one main idea, so the reader can understand your points easily.
coherence and cohesion
The opening and ending are both present, and the main parts are in a clear order.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...
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