In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an app ropriate use of government money?

In recent years, authorities have invested in modern automation in order to deal with people's demands.
This
happens
due to
the wish to improve living conditions, which is a good way for governments to spend
bill
Fix the agreement mistake
bills
show examples
as it may attract potential employers and businesses. It needs to be understood that modern machinery can improve citizens's living environment. As technology is developed, the quality of medicine and food
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
also
increased.
This
may enhance the living standards of populations, which means the happiness of citizens grows.
Moreover
, modern automation
also
supports nations not only with agriculture but
also
with finance. Modern equipment helps employees to work more efficiently and save their time. People now do not have to deal with risky or tiring jobs, as programs and robots would replace them.
In other words
, workers's lives are secured and they have more time with their families. Taking Japan as an example, most factories use new technology to deal with their heavy tasks. It is acknowledged that spending
governments's
Change noun form
governments
show examples
property on developing machinery is beneficial. Because many businesses and entrepreneurs tend to invest in state-of-the-art equipment so as to invent unique products, developed nations with modern automation are usually an ideal market for them.
This
attracts more potential workers to come, which helps countries to have more cash in the long run.
In addition
, visitors usually visit modern cities to find more entertainment, which means developing AI and programmes will aid
this
service.
According to
a survey in the USA, tourists love travelling to up-to-date areas to enjoy its convenience and
this
increases the GDP of the cities a lot. In conclusion, governments spend wealth on new machinery to improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
living standards.
Hence
, it is a good way to use
bill
Correct article usage
the bill
show examples
effectively because of appeals to more potential employers and tourists.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary
Try to diversify your vocabulary further to avoid repetition and enhance the sophistication of your argument.
Grammar
Include a wider range of grammatical structures to demonstrate language flexibility and accuracy.
Coherence
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea for stronger coherence. While your essay is well organized, more explicit topic sentences could improve clarity.
Task Response
Offer more specific examples to support your arguments. While you've cited Japan and the USA, additional detail or examples could strengthen your case.
Structure
Your introduction and conclusion effectively bookend your argument, clearly stating your viewpoint and summarizing the key points.
Organization
You've effectively used paragraphs to organize different aspects of the topic, aiding in the essay's overall coherence.
Relevance
Your argument's relevance is well-maintained throughout the essay, directly addressing the prompt and thus achieving the task's requirements.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!