IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some students prefer to take a gap year between high school and university to or to travel. Do the advantages of this outweight the disadvantages?

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Introduction
Nowadays, several
students
Use synonyms
 would rather take a year off to travel after
compleate
Correct your spelling
completing
 high school
instead
Linking Words
 of
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 straight away to
universities
Check wording
university
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 decision could have advantages
such
Linking Words
 as
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 better career
choices
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
This
Fix capitalization
this
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 gap may have several disadvantages in terms of losing track to continue their
education
Use synonyms
 path.
Body paragraph 1
On one hand, taking a year break to travel could impact
Use synonyms
students
Check wording
students'
show examples
 career
choices
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
show examples
 them to spend more time to know
themselfs
Correct your spelling
themselves
 and
therefore
Linking Words
, make better
decision
Check wording
decisions
show examples
 in terms of their educational
feature
Check wording
future
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, better
choices
Use synonyms
 might reduce the tendency among young
gerations
Correct your spelling
generations
 to early resignation from
universites
Correct your spelling
universities
.
As a result
Linking Words
,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 for a short period of time has a positive impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
students
Check wording
student's
show examples
 future.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it can be said that when
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 start to travel in early
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
,
may
Correct pronoun usage
they may
show examples
 lose track to enter to high
education
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
. Knowing
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 knowing new cultures
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 offer them better
opportinuties
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 and salaries without
holding
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a
high
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 degree, could change their minds and
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 a result, most of
the
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 may stay aboard instered of
return
Wrong verb form
returning
show examples
 to study in their hometown to continue study.
Conclusion
In
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, the advantage of
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 for a year after
finish
Wrong verb form
finishing
show examples
 high school
definitly outweight
Correct your spelling
definitely outweighs
 the disadvantages in the
Use synonyms
students life
Check wording
students' lives
show examples
, because they may not only improve their personal
knowlege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 but
also
Linking Words
 make better career
choices
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Answer the main question more fully. You say the good points are stronger, but explain why they are stronger than the bad points.
task response
Develop each main idea with a clear reason and an example. For example, explain how travel can help a student choose a subject or job.
task response
Be careful with broad claims. The idea that most students may stay abroad is not proved. Use a more careful form, such as “some students may decide not to return.”
coherence and cohesion
Your four-part shape is clear: start, one good point, one bad point, and end. Keep this shape in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Make the link between ideas clearer. In the second body part, state the main point first, then give the reason, then explain the result.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words correctly, such as “because”, “for example”, “however”, and “therefore”. Do not use too many result words in one long sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Write shorter sentences. Some sentences have many ideas and are hard to follow. Split them into two or three short sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Use the same words for the topic. Choose “higher education” or “university” and use it in a clear way. Avoid unclear phrases such as “educational feature” and “high education degree.”
task response
You discuss both the good and bad sides of a gap year, and you give a clear final view.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has clear body parts, and “On one hand” and “On the other hand” help the reader see the two sides.
task response
The point about a gap year helping students know themselves and make career choices is relevant to the topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gap year
  • personal growth
  • maturity
  • cultural exposure
  • global awareness
  • empathy
  • work experience
  • internships
  • competitive
  • academic pressures
  • transition
  • financial constraints
  • indecisiveness
  • productive use of time
  • potential drawbacks
  • future plans
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