Some people believe the government should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Introduction
It is often argued that governments should spend money on building train and
subway
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lines to reduce traffic congestion,
while
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others believe that constructing more and wider
roads
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is a better solution. Both perspectives have some valid points.
However
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, I personally support the view that governments should prioritise public
transport
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because it can carry large numbers of
passengers
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and reduce dependence on private
vehicles
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.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, I support the idea that governments should invest more in train and
subway
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systems. One key reason for
this
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is that public
transport
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can carry a large number of
passengers
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at the same time.
This
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is mainly because a single train can
transport
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hundreds of
people
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,
whereas
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the same number of
passengers
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would require many private cars.
In other words
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, public
transport
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uses
road
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space more efficiently.
For example
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, a
subway
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can carry thousands of commuters during peak hours.
As a result
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, fewer
vehicles
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may be present on busy
roads
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. Another important point is that efficient public
transport
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can reduce dependence on private cars.
This
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is because
people
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are more likely to leave their cars at home when convenient alternatives are available.
For instance
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, daily commuters may choose a
subway
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instead
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of driving to work.
Consequently
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, fewer private
vehicles
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can lead to lower traffic congestion.
Overall
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, I believe
this
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perspective is more convincing.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, some
people
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argue that building more and wider
roads
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is a better solution. The main reason for
this
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position is that additional
road
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space can improve traffic flow in congested areas. One explanation is that wider
roads
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can increase capacity and allow
vehicles
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to move more smoothly.
For example
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, an additional lane may reduce bottlenecks on a major
road
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.
As a result
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,
road
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expansion can provide immediate relief in certain locations.
Therefore
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, it is understandable why some
people
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support
this
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view.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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wider
roads
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have some valid benefits, I remain convinced that investment in trains and
subway
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systems is the more convincing approach.
This
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is mainly
due to
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their ability to
transport
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large numbers of
passengers
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and reduce dependence on private
vehicles
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.

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task response
You discuss both sides and give a clear view. To make your answer stronger, explain more fully why new roads may not work for long. For example, more road space can lead to more people using cars.
task response
Your main ideas are clear and on topic. Add one more clear detail about cost, time, or how trains help people who cannot drive. This would make your view more full.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a very clear order: opening, first view, second view, and ending. Keep this plan in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Your links between ideas are good, but some are used many times, such as “This is because”, “For example”, and “As a result”. Use a wider mix, or join ideas with shorter, more direct sentences.
coherence and cohesion
The first main part is much longer than the second. Give the road view one more reason or a fuller example so both sides feel more even.
task response
You answer every part of the question: you discuss trains and subways, discuss wider roads, and clearly state your own view.
task response
Your examples fit your points well, such as a train carrying many people and an extra lane easing a busy road.
coherence and cohesion
Each main part begins with a clear point, then gives a reason, an example, and a result. This makes the essay easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
The ending clearly restates your view and gives the two main reasons for it.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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