IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

7.5 / 9
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Introduction
It is often argued that all towns and
cities
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 should have large public outdoor
spaces
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,
such
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 as
parks
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 and squares. I strongly agree with
this
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 view because these areas provide valuable opportunities for physical activity and relaxation
while
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also
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 encouraging social interaction and stronger community connections.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, public outdoor
spaces
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 are highly beneficial for people's physical and mental well-being.
Parks
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 and open areas give residents a convenient place to walk, exercise and relax, which is especially important in densely populated
cities
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 where private outdoor space may be limited.
For example
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, an office worker can visit a nearby park after work to walk or exercise,
while
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 children can play safely outdoors. By providing opportunities for regular physical activity and relaxation,
such
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spaces
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 can improve fitness and reduce everyday stress.
Therefore
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, public
parks
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 and squares can make urban life healthier and more pleasant.
Body paragraph 2
Another important benefit is that public
spaces
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 encourage social interaction. Unlike private facilities,
parks
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 and squares are generally accessible to people from different social and economic backgrounds. Community events, weekend markets and cultural festivals can bring local residents together in the same place.
For instance
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, a neighbourhood market held in a public square can give residents an opportunity to meet their neighbours and develop social connections.
This
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 can reduce isolation and create a stronger sense of community.
Although
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 finding large areas of land may be difficult in crowded
cities
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, the social and health benefits make public outdoor
spaces
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 a worthwhile investment.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I strongly agree that towns and
cities
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 should provide large public outdoor
spaces
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. They support physical and mental well-being
while
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also
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 creating opportunities for social interaction, making urban communities healthier and more connected.

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task response
Your view is clear from the start and stays the same. To make the answer even stronger, add one more detail about why large places, not just small parks, are needed. For example, large places can hold a market, a fair, or many families at one time.
task response
Your two main ideas are well chosen: health and social life. The examples fit each idea, but they are quite general. Add a more real and clear example, such as a city park with paths, play areas, and space for a local event.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear shape: opening, two main parts, and ending. Each part has one main idea, so it is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words well, such as “For example”, “Therefore”, “Another important benefit”, and “In conclusion”. To avoid a slightly repeated pattern, use a few different simple links, such as “Also”, “As a result”, or “This means that”.
coherence and cohesion
The last sentence of the second main part brings in the problem of land in busy cities. This is useful, but you could explain it a little more: cities may use old land, roof gardens, or smaller open areas where large land is not free.
task response
You answer the whole question and clearly state that you agree. Your reasons stay on topic and directly support your view.
task response
The points about exercise, rest, children playing, markets, and local events are useful and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
The opening clearly gives your view and previews the two main reasons. The ending repeats the main message in a clear way.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are in a strong order, and the ideas move smoothly from health to community life.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • public outdoor spaces
  • community events
  • social cohesion
  • community engagement
  • quality of urban life
  • physical activities
  • public health and wellbeing
  • environmental benefits
  • reduce pollution
  • urban wildlife
  • aesthetic appeal
  • inclusive access
  • economic benefits
  • local businesses
  • tourists attractions
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