IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Your next-door neighbour likes to listen to music late at night. Because of the loud music, you often lose sleep. Write a letter (at least 150 words) to the building manager. In your letter: •Describe the situation •Explain the problems it is causing you •Offer at least one solution

7.5 / 9
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Dear manager I hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you well. I am writing to express my concern about an uncomfortable situation that has been occurring over the
last
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 fortnight with my next-door neighbour, as he has been staying up late at night playing loud music, usually from 10 P.M. until 1 or even 2 AM, and it has resulted in me losing sleep and not resting properly, accompanied by unpleasant migraine episodes. The noise has affected both my wife and me very badly, as it has been almost impossible for any of us to sleep either peacefully or sufficiently. In fact, every other day, we have had issues waking up on time and have failed to get ready for work in the mornings. We would like you to speak to him and enforce the building’s compulsory rules related to noise levels and corresponding night times, as it is the right of all the tenants to have a comfortable and peaceful stay. I look forward to hearing from you soon and to getting
this
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 situation solved promptly. Kind regards, Lorenzo

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task response
You cover all three parts: the noise, its effect on you, and a way to fix it. Add one more clear detail, such as the flat number or how often this happens, to make the report more useful.
task response
Your idea to ask the manager to speak to your neighbour is clear. You could also ask the manager to send a note about quiet hours to all people in the building.
coherence and cohesion
The letter is easy to follow: the first part gives the problem, the next part gives the effect, and the last part asks for help. Keep this clear order.
coherence and cohesion
Some lines are very long. Split them into shorter sentences so the main point is easier to see.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple links such as “As a result”, “Because of this”, and “Therefore” to show the link between the loud music and your lack of sleep.
task response
You clearly say when the music is played and explain that it causes loss of sleep and health problems.
task response
The request to the manager is polite and clear.
coherence and cohesion
Each main paragraph has one clear job, and the letter has a good opening and closing.
coherence and cohesion
The tone is polite and right for a letter to a building manager.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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