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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that in the digital age, theatres and cinemas are no longer important as people can watch all the entertainment they want online. Others argue that theatres and cinemas are still important both economically and culturally. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
In
this
Linking Words
 coexisting world, it is undoubtedly true that in the digital age, people do not prefer going to the cinemas and theatres, as individuals can watch all the entertainment they want online. Some folks are concerned that culturally and economically, theatres and cinemas are still important.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, it is quite evident that a large part of the population agrees with the facility and the simple access to discover everything we are looking for on our phone or computer without having a financial cost.
For instance
Linking Words
, a survey conducted by the government
last
Linking Words
 year proved that 90% of the nation agrees with the progress of online access to watch movies.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many citizens argue to take part in the culture of the country, and the history
that is
Linking Words
 represented in many typical movies or comedies.
In addition
Linking Words
, a number of communities are looking for a place where they can spend their free time by watching a movie in a comfortable place, other than their home.
Conclusion
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 many people believe that online access to everything is important, I believe that physical cultural places and areas are fundamental for our society and for our future.

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task response
Discuss both views in more depth. Explain why online viewing is easy and cheap, but also why cinemas and theatres matter for jobs, money, local areas, and culture.
task response
Make your own view clearer from the start and support it with reasons. Your last paragraph gives your view, but it needs more detail.
task response
Use real and clear examples. The survey example is not fully explained, and it does not show why online viewing is better. Add an example about a family watching at home or a local theatre giving work to many people.
task response
Be careful with very broad ideas such as “everything” and “without cost”. Many online films need payment, and not all entertainment is free.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part form: introduction, one view, the other view, and conclusion. Keep this plan.
coherence and cohesion
Make the link between ideas smoother. In the first body paragraph, explain the main point before the survey, then say how the survey supports that point.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences. For example: “Online entertainment is popular because it is easy to get and often cheaper.” Then develop this idea.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences join too many ideas. Split them into shorter sentences so the meaning is easier to follow.
task response
You answer both sides of the question and give your own view in the conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The use of “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” helps the reader see the two different views.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion clearly returns to the main question and states your final view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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