IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The plans below show a college café before it was redesigned and how it looks now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Introduction
The given data illustrates the information about the college cafeteria that will be redesigned.
Body paragraph 1
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that there are multiple changes in the before and after designs, and some designated rooms were
also
Linking Words
 refined into other options.
Conclusion
After
analyzing
Change the spelling
analysing
show examples
 the photo, it is abundantly clear that the cafeteria before only had a limited
area
Use synonyms
 which included the kitchen, serving
area
Use synonyms
, staff dining rooms, bin, and toilets. But after the redesign, it will have more areas with multiple options. The kitchen
area
Use synonyms
 has the same position.
Although
Linking Words
 the serving
area
Use synonyms
 changed to hot meals, a salad bar was
also
Linking Words
 added in the
west
Replace the word
western
 part.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the staff dining rooms were divided into two categories, one having takeaway food and the second one having a coffee bar.
Likewise
Linking Words
, the bin was renamed as
recycling
Correct article usage
a recycling
show examples
bins
Fix the agreement mistake
bin
show examples
 with the same positions, and the toilets
also
Linking Words
 have the same
area
Use synonyms
. On top of that, at the bottom, other options like barbecue and outdoor seating were added
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the layout.

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task response
Make clear that the plans show the café in the past and now. Do not say that it “will be redesigned” if the second plan shows the new design.
task response
Give a fuller main view. Say that the café became larger and that several old rooms were changed into food and drink areas.
task response
Check every label on the plans before writing. For example, be sure that the staff dining room was split into takeaway food and a coffee bar, rather than only saying it was divided.
task response
Add more key details about the new outside area, such as where the barbecue and outdoor seats are, and compare them with the old plan.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple order: first give the main changes, then describe the left and right sides, and finally the new area at the bottom.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same idea about “more areas” and “multiple options”. Name the new places instead.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear linking words with care. “In addition”, “while”, and “whereas” can help show change and contrast.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are very long. Break them into shorter sentences so each change is easy to follow.
task response
You identify several important changes, including the salad bar, hot meals, takeaway food, coffee bar, recycling bins, barbecue, and outdoor seating.
task response
You also note the parts that stay in the same place, such as the kitchen and toilets.
coherence and cohesion
The writing has an opening summary and then gives details of the plan.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “Moreover” and “Likewise” show an attempt to link ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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