The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the helth care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem to introduce more physical education lesson in the school curriculem. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
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is getting the perfect score in Toefl exam.
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Body paragraph 1
Moreove
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task response
This text does not answer the essay question about weight, health care, and PE at school. Write your view clearly: agree, disagree, or partly agree. Then give two main reasons and explain each one.
task response
Use ideas that are linked to the question. For example, more PE can help children move more and build good habits, but food at home and at school also has a big part.
task response
Add real or clear examples. You could say that two or three PE lessons each week may help pupils be more active, but schools should also give healthy food and teach children about it.
coherence and cohesion
Your message has a clear personal tone, but it is a short note, not an essay. Use a simple essay plan: introduction, first main idea, second main idea, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Start each part with a clear main sentence. Then add two or three sentences to explain the idea. Use simple link words such as 'First', 'Also', 'For example', and 'In the end'.
coherence and cohesion
Check spelling and full stops. For example, write 'Therefore', 'achieve', 'Gemini', 'especially', and 'curriculum'. Clear spelling will make your writing easier to read.
task response
You show a clear personal choice about how you will improve your writing.
coherence and cohesion
The friendly ending gives your note a warm and clear close.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as 'Therefore' and 'Moreover' show that you are trying to link ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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