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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people spend too much time using social media. What problems can this cause, and what solutions can you suggest?

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Introduction
Nowadays, many people spend too much
time
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 using social
media
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. I believe that it causes a lot of problems,
such
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 as eye infections and psychological diseases.
This
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 is because it takes us away from reality.
Therefore
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, I can suggest several solutions, including monitoring and setting limits.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, spending too much
time
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 on social
media
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 can cause various eye problems, including eye infections and irritation.
This
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 is because screen emissions affect the eyes with long-term
use
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.
For example
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, in 2025, I went to an ophthalmologist because my eyes were red and itchy, and he advised me to wear blue-light-blocking glasses and not
use
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 social
media
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 for more than half an hour at a
time
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.
Therefore
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, I suggest an arrangement not to
use
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 social
media
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 more than three times a week, with an alarm set every half hour.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, long
use
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 of social
media
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 is linked to some psychological diseases, including depression and Autism.
In other words
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, they happen because of a loss of communication skills and poor analytical ability.
For instance
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, one of my relatives spends a lot of
time
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 on social
media
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, and his ability to express himself correctly has declined;
in addition
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, he likes to stay alone.
As a result
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, it creates a big gap in people's abilities. My suggestion is to get
together with
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 others to minimise the risks, especially by monitoring each other.
Conclusion
In conclusion, both sides present the causes and suggestions for too much social
media
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use
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 to address
this
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 important issue.
Therefore
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, I believe we must be more organised and manage our social
media
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use
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.

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task response
Answer both parts in a more full way. Give two clear problems and two clear ways to solve them. Explain how each way can help.
task response
Be careful with health claims. Too much screen time may cause dry or tired eyes, but it does not usually cause eye infections. Also, do not say that social media causes autism. Use safer ideas, such as poor sleep, stress, low mood, less face-to-face time, or less work and study time.
task response
Make each main idea clearer. For example, explain that seeing other people’s perfect lives can make users feel unhappy, and that a daily time limit can help them spend more time on sleep, work, and real-life friends.
task response
Your personal examples are useful, but make the link to the main point more direct. The eye example should show tired or dry eyes after long screen use. The second example should focus on less real-life talk or low mood, rather than a change in ability.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an ending. To make the flow better, use one body part for problems and one body part for solutions. This will match the question more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Do not use "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" here, because you are not comparing two different views. Use links such as "One problem is...", "Another problem is...", "To solve this...", and "In addition...".
coherence and cohesion
Some links are not clear. For example, "Therefore, I suggest an arrangement" comes after the eye example too quickly. State the problem, explain it, then give the solution in a new sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Make the final paragraph more direct. Instead of saying "both sides present," restate the key problems and key solutions in a short, clear way.
task response
You address both the problems and the solutions, and your ideas stay on the topic.
task response
You give examples from real life, which helps make your points easier to understand.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear basic shape: an introduction, two main paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words such as "For example," "In addition," and "As a result" to show links between ideas.
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