Some people believe that children should spend more time playing sports, while others think that they should spend more time studying. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. �

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Introduction
Nowadays
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Nowadays,
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some people think that kids should spend more
time
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playing
sports
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.
During others
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Others
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believe that they should spend more
time
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studying.In my
opinion
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opinion,
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I believe that the
children
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must study
more
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for more
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time
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.
Body paragraph 1
Some individuals think that
children
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should spend more
time
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playing
sports
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. One reason is that
children
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can learn new skills, things, and learn more about
the
Correct article usage
apply
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life.
Body paragraph 2
For example
Linking Words
.
Play
Wrong verb form
Playing
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Use synonyms
children
Check wording
children's
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sports
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together
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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them delighted and ecstatic. So make them creative and
Linking Words
this
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make this
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thing strong personal for them.
Body paragraph 3
The kids
are
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apply
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spend more
time
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studying
they
Punctuation problem
, they
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develop and enhance their skills, improve their mind and ability to understand numerous things.
Body paragraph 4
For
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example
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example,
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children
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studying more
time
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they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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become
intelligent
Rephrase
more intelligent
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than other
children
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.
Body paragraph 5
I actually believe that
children
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spend more
time
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studying because they
make
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become
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the best
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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when they are adults, they pass many exams, and they improve their
country and
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apply
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communication
.
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skills.
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Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
chlorine
playing
Wrong verb form
plays
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Use synonyms
sports
Punctuation problem
sports,
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they
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
will be successful.

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task response
Discuss both sides in a more even way. You write more about study, but the sports side needs more clear ideas and support.
task response
Give a clear answer about how time should be shared. For example, say that study is more important, but sport is also needed for health and team work.
task response
Make each main idea clear. Explain how sport helps children, then explain how study helps them. Do not only say that they become intelligent or successful.
task response
Use examples that are more real and clear. For example, children can play football after school, while they can study for two hours before dinner.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear paragraph order: introduction, sports view, study view, your view, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Start each paragraph with one main idea. Then add an explanation and an example. This will make the essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words correctly, such as “First”, “For example”, “However”, “Also”, and “In conclusion”.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and full stops. For example, write “For example, children who play sports together may feel happy.” Do not write “For example. Play children sports together…”
task response
You give your own view clearly: you think children should spend more time studying.
task response
You include ideas for both sport and study, such as new skills, health, learning, and exams.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You try to use examples to support your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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