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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think all lawbreakers should be sent to prison, while others think there are better alternatives for those whose crimes are minor, such as making them do work for the local community. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
Now days
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
, some
people
Use synonyms
 think all
people
Use synonyms
 who break the law must
goes
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
 to prison. But other
people
Use synonyms
 believe that for minor
crimes
Use synonyms
, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 better choices like community work. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both of
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 views and give my own opinion about
this
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 topic.
Body paragraph 1
first
Capitalize the word
First
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 of all i think that
people
Use synonyms
 who
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
commit
show examples
 big
crimes
Use synonyms
 like murders, drugsellers, theifs and hackers should be punished in
jail
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whith
Use synonyms
 long term plus a huge amount of fine .
why it’s
Correct word order
Why is it
show examples
 because
peopl
Correct your spelling
people
 who
make
Verb problem
commit
show examples
 big
crimes
Use synonyms
 should be punished
Use synonyms
whith
Correct your spelling
with
 strict punishment so they will not repeat the
crimes
Use synonyms
 they
did
Verb problem
committed
show examples
 again. And after paying the fine and after getting out of
jail
Use synonyms
 the should be
under seen
Correct your spelling
underseen
 for a short terpeople says that all
lawp breaker
Fix the agreement mistake
lawbreakers
show examples
 should be sent to priso
while
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
says
Correct subject-verb agreement
say
show examples
 that they shouldn’t go to
jail
Use synonyms
 and should make
commuity
Correct your spelling
community
 work.
Body paragraph 2
m
Correct your spelling
most
 of
Use synonyms
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
.
Body paragraph 3
In
Change preposition
On
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 the other hand i see that
people
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
whith
Correct your spelling
with
 small
crimes
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 like
bully’s
Check wording
bullies
show examples
,
people
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 who beats other ,
people
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 who
steals
Correct subject-verb agreement
steal
show examples
 small things . should have three choices.
the
Capitalize the word
The
show examples
 first choice is being arrested for a short
Use synonyms
time of
Check wording
apply
show examples
period, the second choise they should pay a small amount of fine and the
last
Linking Words
 choice is
making
Verb problem
performing
show examples
 unpaid community services
like
Change preposition
, such as
show examples
 helping
bulding
Correct your spelling
build
 public places
schools
Punctuation problem
, schools
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, playgrounds, mosques, or
teachins
Correct your spelling
teaching
 small children reading and writting and many other things that they could spend their
time
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 in insted in wasting their
time
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 in things that harms his country.
Conclusion
In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
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i strongley
Correct your spelling
I strongly
 agree
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
apply
show examples
that
people
Use synonyms
whith
Use synonyms
 big
crimes
Use synonyms
 should go to
jail
Use synonyms
 lus after going to
Use synonyms
jail
Punctuation problem
jail,
show examples
 they should
make
Verb problem
perform
show examples
 unpaid community services
Punctuation problem
. This
show examples
that is
Linking Words
 a benefit for the country and for them selves befor any one and peopl
whith
Use synonyms
 small
crimes
Use synonyms
 should
have
Verb problem
receive
show examples
 small puishments and thank you.

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task response
You answer both views and give your own view. However, make your own view more clear from the start. Say that prison is for very serious crime, while other punishments are better for minor crime.
task response
Give more clear reasons for each view. For prison, explain public safety and stopping repeat crime. For community work, explain how it can help the local area and help the person change.
task response
Use more exact examples. For example, a person who takes a small item may pay money and clean a park, while a person who hurts or kills someone may need prison.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two main parts, and a conclusion, which is good. But some parts are hard to follow because sentences stop in the middle or repeat the same idea.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. Start with a clear first sentence, then give a reason, an example, and a short result.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words in the right way: 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', 'For example', 'As a result', and 'In conclusion'.
coherence and cohesion
Check your writing before you finish. There is a broken sentence after 'under seen for a short...' and a repeated part about lawbreakers. Remove these so the reader can follow your ideas.
task response
You discuss prison for serious crime and other punishments for minor crime. This is a direct answer to the question.
task response
You give useful examples of community work, such as helping to build schools and playgrounds.
coherence and cohesion
You use a clear essay shape: an opening, points for both sides, and a final view.
coherence and cohesion
You try to use link words such as 'first of all', 'In the other hand', and 'In conclusion' to move between ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • lawbreakers
  • deterrent
  • rehabilitation
  • community service
  • recidivism
  • incarceration
  • public safety
  • cost-effectiveness
  • infraction
  • reintegration
  • punitive measures
  • reoffending
  • stigmatization
  • educational programs
  • counseling programs
  • alternative approaches
  • societal benefits
  • burden on taxpayers
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