There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country is more importnat than the international music that is heard everwhere nowadays?

5.0 / 9

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Introduction

The

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the contemporary world, there are

vaious ypes

Correct your spelling

various types

music

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, including traditional, rock, and spiritual. I believe the primary reason why we need

music

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to entertain ourselves, and traditional

music

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is more imperative than

the

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apply

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international

music

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because it generates more positive influence.

Body paragraph 1

After listening

Use synonyms

music

Change preposition

to music

show examples

generally

Punctuation problem

, generally

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people

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of all ages feel more relaxed and satisfied. Especially, students after studying continuously for two to three hours feel tired,

therefore

Linking Words

, they listen

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music

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to music

show examples

for some time and reconnect with studies again.

Similarly

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, teens who do full-time jobs feel relaxed after listening

their

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to their

show examples

favourtie

Correct your spelling

favourite

music

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because at that time they do not perform any activity or

utilize

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utilise

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their mind.

For instance

Linking Words

, in Uk, to re-engage students with their studies, they are given '

brean

Correct your spelling

brain

breaks' by their teachers, and during

this

Linking Words

time pupils listen

their

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to their

show examples

favourite

songs

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Body paragraph 2

I contend that

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, as

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compared to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

international

music

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, traditional

music

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generates more positive influences

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show examples

listeners. To elaborate,

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a country, traditional

music

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are

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written in their own spiritual and cultural writings, and traditional tones of guitar and drum beats

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

influence and connect

people

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more with their own country or culture.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I believe traditional

music

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is more crucial than

the

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apply

show examples

international

songs

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becasuse

Correct your spelling

because

although

Linking Words

international

music

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is popular,

people

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who are listening

this

Linking Words

music

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can not comprehend the real meaning and understand the language. For

instacne

Correct your spelling

instance

, in India,

famous

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a famous

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traditional singer named ' Lata' had

sang

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sung

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numerous traditional

songs

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. These

songs

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are still famous among youth in India because

these

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they

show examples

songs

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are not only in

Hindi

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the Hindi

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language but

also

Linking Words

relate to their religious values.

Conclusion

In conclusion, there are

any

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apply

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distinct types of

music

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. I staunchly argue that listening to

music

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make

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makes

show examples

people

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more relaxed from their busy schedules, and if

people

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Verb problem

apply

show examples

listen

traditional

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to traditional

show examples

music

Use synonyms

, they become more connected towards their home country.

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Oct 2, 2026

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task response

You answer both questions. To make your view stronger, explain more fully why music is needed. For example, music can help people rest, share feelings, and bring people together.

task response

Your main view is clear: traditional music is more important. However, you should also give one fair point about world music, such as how it helps people learn about other places, before you say why traditional music matters more.

task response

Some examples are useful, but make them more clear and real. The UK school example needs more detail, and the India example should explain exactly how the songs help young people feel close to their culture.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear four-part shape: start, two main parts, and end. Keep this shape, but make the first line more direct and clear.

coherence and cohesion

Use clear links between ideas. Words such as “First”, “Also”, “However”, “For this reason”, and “In the end” can help the reader follow your view.

coherence and cohesion

Some sentences are too long or have too many ideas. Write shorter sentences, especially when you explain why traditional music is important. This will make your meaning easier to follow.

coherence and cohesion

Avoid saying the same idea many times, such as people feeling relaxed or traditional music being more important. Add a new reason instead of repeating the same point.

task response

You give a clear answer to both parts of the question and keep the same view from the start to the end.

task response

The points about rest after study or work and about music and culture are on topic and easy to understand.

coherence and cohesion

Each main part has one main idea, and examples are used to support your points.

coherence and cohesion

The ending repeats your main view and brings the essay to a clear close.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

299 words

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There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country is more importnat than the international music that is heard everwhere nowadays?

Nowadays, an increasing number of people with helath problems are using alternative medicine and treatment instead of visitiong their normal doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development.

Some people think that the only way to improve the safety of our roads is to giving much stricter punishments for driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The use of social media such as Facebook or Twitter is replacing face-to-face contact this century. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries, governments and individuals spend too much money on national celebrations such as New Year and religious festivals. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Some people think that schools should prioritize teaching students’ practical skills for the workplace, while others believe that schools should focus on academic subjects such as science and math. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.